The First Social-Media Babies Are Growing Up—And They’re Horrified
The First Social-Media Babies Are Growing Up—And They’re Horrified
How would you feel if millions of people watched your childhood tantrums?
It's fascinating that zoomers have rejected cutting-edge technology, trading their smartphones for flip phones and distancing themselves from social networks. They've been surrounded by technology their entire lives, and feel threatened by its ubiquity. They want to free themselves from the hive mind and just be alone with their thoughts for a change.
I love tech, but you know, I get it. Young adults probably feel like they've been trapped in a dystopian future, and desperately want a way out.
As an elder Zoomer, can confirm. Seeing first-hand the horrific effects social media has had on so many of my IRL friends' mental health-- and how it's utterly decimated IRL communities-- makes me want to cut it out of my life as much as possible.
My bud has a kid who is like 13.
Here's some stuff, roughly, that he's posted on Facebook about his son:
"Oh my god my fucking kid is going to be the death of me"
"If you think raising a kid is hard try having a kid with learning disabilities"
"I wish I had a normal son"
I have told him over and over that his kid is gonna find that shit, and it will ruin any chance of him having a good relationship with him in the future.
I've even posted in some egregious exams outright telling him to delete that shit for his kids sake.
He doesn't care. He's a selfish prick who will talk over you about whatever dumb shit comes to mind because he only cares about himself. He will also guilt you into feeling bad shit like not saying happy birthday to him -- he's over 50.
Anyways I'm gonna go have some more whiskey.
He's a selfish prick who will talk over you about whatever dumb shit comes to mind because he only cares about himself. He will also guilt you into feeling bad shit like not saying happy birthday to him
My bud
???????????
With a father like that, those posts will be the least of this kid's problems.
Yeah, that sounds a lot like NPD.
This is the kinda shit that makes me wonder why the fuck we don't create something like a "Parenting License"
I know it is borderline eugenics and could probably be abused to high fucking hell, but still
Because it will be immediately abused by the people who provide the licenses and be used as a method of preventing certain groups from procreating. At the end of the day, sex is a natural human behavior, possibly even the main behavior we strive towards when it comes to our collective survival. Putting bureaucracy might sound good at fixing certain issues, but it will ultimately cause way more problems than it could ever hope to solve.
A better solution would be a mandatory parenting course that if you fail numerous times would require you to have some sort of government influence on the child's upbringing so that you don't just spend all the welfare money you get on your dependents on your meth habit.
Why is he your bud?
I ditched all those fools and never looked back.
He has money, and good taste in beer. He's fun to drink with, no doubt. Throws a good bottle share.
I do avoid him quite a bit these days, but when drinking nothing but the best beers in the world was everything I wanted, he was more tolerable.
I can't see the whole article, only parts of it thanks to the paywall, but that's not really much of a surprise.
All of that is on the internet now, and if they ever went viral, there's almost no chance that they could be taken down. Every single thing about them that was filmed and posted online could very well stay there.
That's not even counting pages and channels where the children basically get used as content farms, and their lives are nearly constantly on camera. You can't claw that back, even if the parents had wanted to.
I can't imagine how it would feel knowing that your embarrassing moments and otherwise private matters were shared with millions of people online. Mortifying wouldn't even begin to begin to cover it.
Especially if it's popular enough that it becomes what their name brings up when someone tries searching for them, for things like job interviews. Is that going to start affecting their opportunities and prospects?
I post pretty damned close to zero things in a public fashion of myself or my kids.
Yup. My eldest is 20 now. I never put any photos of my kids on social media. It’s not my privacy to give away.
I can’t imagine how it would feel knowing that your embarrassing moments and otherwise private matters were shared with millions of people online. Mortifying wouldn’t even begin to begin to cover it.
I would feel violated, that's for sure. Exploiting your kids like that is gross and fucked up. Just because children lack agency doesn't mean they don't or shouldn't have rights. Society needs to rid itself of the idea that authority figures "own" those who are subordinate or under their care or guardianship. It's a disgusting, antiquated mentality that has no place in modern society. Humanity needs to grow the fuck up.
Sorry, kid. Mom and Dad pimped you for internet points.
But in your parents' defense, many of them were completely clueless about the internet and Facebook exploited this without shame. Facebook told them to share their lives and they did, because it was novel and easy, and because the vast majority lacked the experience (what some zoomers now have) or technical knowledge (what some older geeks had) to understand the ramifications of what they were doing.
I have a one year old son (yes I'm a pretty old dad) and y'all are never gonna see him (too bad, he's adorable.) I -- or rather, my wife -- has friends who post pictures of their kids on Facebook. Inevitably they ask why they don't see our son on Facebook and we tell them were keeping him off social media until we think he's mature enough to decide those things for himself. There usually follows an uncomfortable moment, then responses have ranged from "hmm, that's probably a good idea" to "well gosh, I just put EVERYTHING up there! My kids gonna totally hate me when they get older LOL" We'll see how well that LOL ages.
Of course, most are in the middle ground where they post nice pictures while being cognizant of not posting anything embarrassing. That's still too much for our tastes, but those kids probably won't be traumatized by a pic of them in their lacrosse outfit or blowing out candles on their birthday cake.
I have a 4 year old and I post a lot of pictures of my kid, but like privately. I use an app called tinybeans. You have to be explicitly invited. Grandma gets emails because she can't use apps. everyone is happy. My kid's pictures are hidden away from facebook and family members have to take much more active action to share her photos beyond themselves. And they know that means excommunication from the picture firehose, so they don't. That's how I've managed this. I mean... there's still a bunch of embarrassing stuff in there, but at least the only people who can see it are the people who were traditionally privy to embarrassing kid shit anyway.
This story is about a teen who opted out after learning she was involuntarily posted:
https://www.fastcompany.com/90315706/kids-parents-social-media-sharing
I grew up before social media. My neighbors were fuckups. Their mother's approach to discipline was to tell the whole town every time they fucked up because peer pressure would apparently work where she was failing? I asked her once if she thought it might affect her relationship with them down the line and she said she didn't care as long as they turned out all right. Now she never gets to see half her grandkids. Funny how things turn out.
Did they turn out alright though?
Nope!
I have never, ever posted a picture of my kids online. I've sent a handful to family and friends via messaging apps, but only ones that are naturally flattering, and that is as far as it goes.
As it turns out, my overwhelming hunch that this is the only decent, respectful course of action in the mindless social media age, seems to be correct.
I love my kids, and I respect them as people, as individuals with a right to privacy at any age.
That fact that social media babies have already grown up, horrifies me as well. I feel so old just reading this headline...
One should share even good things (e.g. achievements) of children carefully. I've seen parents continuously sharing even minuscule achievements of their children and trying to prove how smart they are as parents, or the children are prodigies.
If they become underachievers (in comparison to how their parents portrayed them), they will find it very difficult to cope with. One shouldn't burden children with one's ambitions.
I would never post that shit in the first place. What asshole parents...
My wife and I recently welcomed our first child and this has been top of mind for me. My wife likes posting and sharing details of her life, which I’m fine with, but we’ve already talked about making sure that our daughters life stays as private and separate from that as possible. It pains me to hear about children having to grow up and fill the role that’s already been created for them online without their choice.
We need not only to have the kids of today to learn digital literacy and privacy rights, but also their parents. I'm really low-profile about my personal life, and I like that my family is also like that.
Totally agree. The biggest problem has always been educating parents.
I'm glad I grew up slightly before this time.
This is exactly the reason neither of my kids have a single picture online (to my knowledge).
It’s not up to me. When they are old enough, they can decide. Until then, I’ll do damn hardest to keep it away.
i remember a reportage here. "not even born already on social media"
We created a private online album and invited family. They’re notified when we upload new pictures, and the album is unable to be viewed without an invite. It’s been so easy to use.
I like social media, but don't have been drawn more to pseudonym based ones than maintaining a social media of your real life counterpart. That stuff is too exhausting for me.
I've got young nieces and nephews; I'll never post their images online. Can't stop anyone else from doing it, but at least I'm not part of the problem.
I wonder what the girls of ItsJudyLife are going to say when they're all older. I used to watch Judy and her family a few years ago, but the ick factor of babies and children being plastered all over YouTube made me stop. Now I refuse to watch any videos with kids in them unless the kids are censored.
If any of you really want to see/understand the dangers of posting pictures and videos of kids online, I highly recommended watching Mom.Uncharted. Yes, she's on TikTok, please understand that she does a lot of amazing work on there. She also has a Linktree page too.
I couldn't read this whole article because it is paywalled, but did the author suggest that they feel relief when they see other children throwing tantrums online at the end of the first paragraph?? Wtf does that mean??
RIP Dooce.
Non paywall version here: https://archive.li/73Df4
Thank you!