Not many people admit to being offended by something that someone said. When was a time you actually felt hurt and/or insulted by someone?
My husband recently said that I had a nice ass when I was younger, but currently it's "just something that happens to some women when they get older." I'm 40.
Did you tell him you preferred when his balls didn't leave drag marks on the floor
Ass is ass. I'd take any ass!
My mother told me that she hated me. After a really dumb argument we had, as adults. I still talk to her and play nice in front of our siblings but I haven't forgiven her and I don't think I ever will. I lost a lot of love for my mother in a single day and then nothing anyone has said to me since has ever matched or beaten that feeling. How do you trump your own mother hating you? She moved on like she never said it. No apologies. Never mentioned it. You can call me every name and slur and hang me for all my fuckups and oddities, but you can't hurt me. I'm already at 0 HP emotionally
Oof. Mine wrote me in a letter that she wasn't my mother anymore. Later pretended she never meant it. 20 years pass. Then she writes me a message saying I ruined my kid's life. I cut contact then. I still miss the friendly mom she sometimes was.
When I was told to get lost and go back to China because the pandemic reliefs were for the fellow countrymen.
Are you from China? Anyone who managed to escape that country should be praised, not told to go back.
Not China, but you know the rest... like that Laotian character from King of the Hills who gets asked "So you're from China or Japan?" everytime.
I used to be less-than-feeling-bothered about how a lot of people feel about my asexuality, I always thought it was just a simple hiccup in the science community, but over time let's just say the revelations have sunk in as disheartening. I've been a pariah because of it, it's the most common talking point when I see people jab at me, and even amongst acquaintances I'm told they're dismissive of anyone saying they're asexual.
Psychiatrists have told me it's a flaw of mine, family members would think of me suspicious for it, and when I later found out the acquaintances of mine (who I still consider friends to an extent) are into Jordan Peterson (you probably know where this is going), I though "maybe I can paraphrase this great genius in their presence to help my case", only to realize he is no genius and actually champions the idea of asexual dismissal. Pardon my French, but how hard is it to effing say "intimacy is NOT a given?"
Up until recently, asexuality hasn't had any widespread slurs, but the label "worthless" really does it when you want a deep connection just like everyone else. Recently however, some slurs have developed, though for obvious reasons you'll have to look them up, as this is Lemmy.
Weird how sex is simultaneously taboo and expected of people.
It's more like anything that deviates from how it normally works is considered contrary to the point of it all and thus that becomes taboo, i.e. the details of how you might like dressing up as authority figures to get the ball rolling.
Make no mistake, people in ancient times were fine starting the very first chapters of their scriptures with "and then the first man and first woman hit it off" which they no doubt relayed to people early in their upbringing.
How does exactly Jordan Peterson dismiss asexuality there?
He is asked by someone self defining as asexual: how can I do to have kids, I have not felt sexual connections but want to create children with my wife.
Then he answers the questions, like "hey, if you really wanna do this, you can try this steps. Also, you can explore if you are really asexual (see, he acknowledges there asexual exists) or if maybe it has roots on something else, and you should explore that as well"
How is that dismissing, did I miss something?
If it is because something in the lines of "well, you cannot tell people they maybe arent what they identify as" then Ok i guess. I don't agree, I think a professional should explore all possibilities, especially when it is generaring discomfort to someone (as is the case with the person asking), but that's just my opinion.
If it's not in that line, I may have missed something.
That's not quite what it is. She (the person who sent the letter) said that as an off-detail, she was asking how they might grow a family without physical connection, which is entirely possible. You don't need that in your family if you choose someone likeminded to you. Of course, though, Peterson doesn't read the whole letter, it's normal to do highlights with those.
There's also a bit of context. Sexuality is a large part of Peterson's teachings, though he takes an exclusively popular political approach to it. To give the most relevant example, in one of his most famous teachings, he put forward the notion that incels are a result of society casting them aside, with this in turn owing its context to the incel movement, which consists of people expressing angst over disproportionate relationship statistics. He has said this a few times, it arises out of ideals stemming from the sexual revolution and culminates today in seizing the means of reproduction, to use a double entendre. For this reason, incels and asexuals are diametrically adjacent on the "who do I please" spectrum.
So then this guy comes along, who many wonder if he's there just there to please, and then this woman asks the question in the letter. She never says "how do I be physical", she's asking "how do I find peace", and with the context in mind, his mindset becomes a real awakening (not in a good way). Unlike being an incel, asexuality is not only a way we're born as opposed to just some random identity, but it's also the natural state of things, to have a drive is not necessary for life to exist. Side note, adoption is never mentioned.
In real life or....? I'm insulted pretty much daily on here by some dipshit or another. In reality? Less. But as a queer person living in an area full of conservatives I overhear "faggot" said a lot. Generally not at me, but it's still offensive and it makes me uncomfortable being around people who yell it at random people on the street as they drive by.
Back when I was in high school, a friend of mine introduced me to his friend. This kid, knowing that I'm Jewish, started to go on a rant ending with "the only thing Hitler did wrong was not finishing the job!"
Him saying that me and my family should be killed for the "crime" of being Jewish... Well, offended seems too light of a word. I blew right past offended and landed in ANGERED.
Now, usually, I'm a pretty relaxed guy. I typically don't get angry even if I should. But this made me want to punch the guy right in his Hitler loving face. My friend had to hold me back.
(And before anyone asks, this wasn't the kid being "edgy" or trolling me to get a reaction. He actually worshipped Hitler and thought he was a great man.)
I have it happen far to often unfortunately but for me when I tell someone how I am feeling and they respond "no you dont" or "I don't think you do" completely dismissing my feelings all together.
I had a girlfriend, and for a short time a wife, who was really religious. That's fine, but she had a real problem with the fact I wasn't religious, and she wouldn't remove herself from my life, no matter how many times I told her that it wasn't going to work.
She would tell me that I wasn't a complete human because I wasn't religious.
I don't care about the opinion of people I wouldn't ask for advice
Just a moment ago me and my SO were talking about the company my dad works for and she said it's a shame they don't have work for me too (I'm unemployed) while knowing wery well I'm trying to gather up the courage to start my own bussines.
I told my first ever girlfriend (after several months of being together) that losing my virginity with someone I cared about was something important for me and she told me to "go find a whore". Now, I sure wasn't the most mature person in the world at the time, but that response hurt in a way I don't feel was warranted.
When an ex told me she didn't think I had ambition, because she was getting a degree and I chose not to go back to school.
Fast forward, I have a very successful and fulfilling career, and I believe she never used her degrees. Whoops.
Had a homeless guy get right in my face and shouted UGLY!
I know that probably has more to do with his life than mine, but it's hard not to take it personally and wonder if it's what everyone else is too polite to say.
It's, as you have already said, most likely an emotional issue on his side.
There is no such thing as "the beauty standard".
Well, yeah. I agree beauty is a flawed, racist, social construct that is just societal opinions in bulk. But money is also a fake social construct that has very real affects on everyday life. We can deconstruct the term "beauty" all night, but that doesn't change the lived reality of being called ugly having a real, genuine, hurtful effect on my self esteem.