Try me, bitch.
Try me, bitch.
59 comments
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I actually did this once. The party was already pretty chaotic, but in a mostly fun way. They didn’t devolve into murder hobos, but they started to walk a route that made me more and more uncomfortable as a DM. So I put him into the game as a random one time quest giver.
It was a warning and the group understood it. Because the table suddenly got really quiet.
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I like to drop him in as a custodian, street cleaner, or janitor. It seems fitting to me to have a lawful good god practice a profession that keeps society running.
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I love this. Just drop a god in as a warning shot
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Transcription:
The first panel has the text: "POV: The party has devolved into chaos and murder hobos" over a picture of Napoleon sitting, looking stern or unhappy, in front of a burning field or city. Napoleon is labelled "DM". Napoleon is taken from the painting "Napoleon I at Fontainebleau on March 31, 1814", superimposed upon a different painting.
Below that is a panel zooming in on Napoleon's face.
Below that is a panel zooming right in on Napoleon's eyes, under the text:
"You see an old man with 7 canaries"
(quotation marks included)
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Should have added the Hobo with a Shotgun.
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You know they would paralyse him or charm him or anything and take the shotgun for themselves. Then torture the hobo to know how to make more shells.
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I am the DM
I speak for the NPCs
Murder hobo again, and I'll break your fucking knees.
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Is that not just the DM equivelant of being a murder hobo?
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No. By that logic, a DM would never be able to balance the game, wouldn't be able to have a powerful BBEG, and wouldn't be able to have powerful non-killable NPCs.
It's the DMs job to control the world and guide it. Reacting to them slaughtering people and destroying towns doesn't make the DM a murderhobo. It's simply part of the job
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Precisely :)
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But you're not balancing the game. You're not adding a powerful BBEG. You're putting a GOD in their path specifically to threaten the players into submission, even goading the players into action with that little "try it, bitch". You're showing the exact same antagonism, desrespect for the world and propensity for violence as the players are. I don't care who did it first.
Just fucking talk to them. Like people do. Say "hey, maybe turn down the murdurhoboing?" instead of jumping to killing them. It's the DM's job to mediate the game and solve disputes as they arise so everyone has fun. Do your fucking job.
Edit: It's always funny how unreasonably upset people get when you suggest talking through problems in a game played entirely through talking.
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Time for some draconic punishment then
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I call this balance
59 comments
So I have played 1 campaign with my brother and listened to a bunch of DND podcasts, I know how the game works but i'm not super familiar with the lore, whats the punchline here?
In some lore, a God named Bahamut exists. He's generally a good guy. He occasionally goes on strolls through the material planes in the disguise of an old man. He takes his posse of 7 Ancient Gold Dragons with him in the form of 7 Canaries.
People pick on the old man because it's just an old man with some birds. Then the old man unfolds into what is arguably THE good God in a lot of DnD lore (or at least the primary good God) with 7 immensely powerful creatures that start maxing out the challenge ratings.
The likelihood of surviving this encounter are very very very very slim. People talk about terrasques all the time. Giant mountain sized monsters but no. This is how you get annihilated.
It's all about that action economy. Survive a terrasque hit (or hits in the case of multiattack)? No problem. Survive 8 terrasque hits? Problems.
So if you want your players to start RPing better (yikes that autocorrect) and playing more heroic people, you have the wrathful god spare them at the last moment or resurrect them with the threat of following through next time they meet if they don't shape up? Or is this just a good way to wipe the board with a good ol' TPK?
I like stamets@startrek.website explanation, but he neglected to explain why Bahamut does this and what exactly the canaries are
Each of the canaries is a dragon cleric, one for each color of the metallic dragons. So they not only are high-level monsters, they also can each throw high-level spells at you. Here's the important thing for DM use: its only tradition that they are canaries. I usually have then be pidgeons or chickadees.
Bahamut essentially does this because he is bored. You see, he is a God of dragons, but dragons don't actually worship their God in the way mortals do, so he doesn't have a lot of duties. So, when he is bored and wants something to do, he goes to the mortal plane in the guise of a pathetic old man, and whenever someone helps him he returns the favor by giving them a blessing.
The problem with using Bahamut as a stick for your munchkins is that he really doesn't need to defend himself. The dragons, of course, will be revealed if their polymorphed form is destroyed, but do you really think some random adventurers can even slightly harm the God of Metallic Dragons? Think about what could happen. Imagine some little kid stepping up to defend the old man, a bunch of other little kids back him up, the party kills them, and then Bahamut brings them all back and offers to make them clerics or paladins so they can actually do something about all the evil people in the world.
Practically speaking, yes, 99.99999% of creatures wouldn't last a literal second against Bahamut, but gods in the Faerun pantheon are not omnipotent, or invincible. He could be harmed or even killed, but there are very few creatures who could do it. A large party of level 20 adventurers could possibly pull it off, but at that level they're effectively demigods in their own right.
Or Ao could just decide to replace him or give his portfolio to another lawful good god, snap his fingers, and even Bahamut would instantly pop out of existence.
Its a god with 7 dragons
thank