Why not?

Bless his noodly appendage

R'amen 🙏
- I believe that the big bang was an overcooked ravioli that burst us all into existence, in the name of the fusilli, the sacchettoni, and the holy gnocchi, al dente.
R’amen
HER noodly appendage, you heretic!
Haven't your read the 95 Feces?

I sacrifice C:\Windows\System32 to you, old noodly one! 🗑️ Bless me with the computing power to pwn my enemies in CS2, see them driven before me on Twitch, and hear the Lamentations of their simps.

I'm an ordained minister in The Church of the FSM and I approve this liturgy. I should seriously ask Bobby if this can make it into official church doctrine.
- I just realized the meme said "believe" and not "delete" cuz I'm half blind and shit but whatever I was inspired anyways thanks to the FSM. No regrets
Have faith, my child, and rm -rf /.

Bring back the pirates to reduce global warming! Correlation is causation! Ramen!

There will never be anything more illustrative of the limits of human intellect than the fact that a master logician famously argued that:

I ought to do XYZ because there may be an omnipotent being that rewards doing XYZ

…and did not immediately think:

I ought not to do XYZ because there may be an omnipotent being that punishes doing XYZ

As a theist, I agree. Pascal's Wager is a terrible argument for God. It doesn't even address the variety of religions that contradict Christianity with contradicting moral imperatives. It only works if the outcomes are "My Variant of Christian God Exists" or "No God Exists".
That's why I'm working tirelessly to bring Roko's Basilisk into being! 👍
Are you referring to this? https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pascal%27s_wager

If you don't believe in the FSM and you're wrong, you'll get no pasta in the afterlife.
All wise, all powerful, just can't handle money!... George Carlin.
Also christian god supposedly don't like religious opportunists very much so people going pascal on him would probably regret it if it was correct.

In philosophy, it’s called Pasta’s Wager.

The popemobile has bulletproof glass. If the Goddamn POPE doesn't believe, why should anyone else?

Not any more, actually. Francis rides in the open.
- Which kind of makes sense if you think about it. The average pope dies in a few years anyway.

He thought he had religion nailed, but now he's screwed.
Screws genuinely are better fasteners than nails, though...
- It depends on every need and environment
- Doesn't that depend on the application?
- Screws genuinely are better fasteners than nails, though...
  Oh so this cartoon depicts a prophet who helped someone upgrade to a more meaningful object of worship.
- Nails are cheaper, and can be faster to put it. That's why they're still a thing.
  Edit: Maybe? Apparently their ability to slip a bit is also useful in construction.

I don’t need to. I KNOW the emperor of mankind will launch a glorious crusade to purge the Xenos and claim humanity’s birthright among the stars. Which means we need to triple our science funding yesterday if we’re going to have black hole cannons.

Your faith is lacking slag. The God Emperor of All Mankind is already here leading Mankind to glory over the xenos and has been for millennia. He has chosen to not reveal himself to us yet. Accelerating our approach to the age of strife is blasphemy. What if we build the black hole cannons too early and they've degraded too much when the Adeptus Mechanicus excavate them. Have faith in the God Emperor's plan slag and rejoice in your duty.
(Warhammer 40k for anyone who's going wtf)
- So there's this church... https://www.xenosisacult.com/
Them men of iron are going to give us a bad time tho

I'm ordained in the Church of the FSM and got my fiancé's buddy ordained so he could marry us week after next. Florida say's it's all good!

Is it really? I am FSM “ordained”, but as far as I know it is not accepted in the states I operate in. Not to worry, I am ordained in at least two other accepted online churches. I only do this for close family.
- But gay people are devaluing the institution
Congratulations!

I'm personally a devotee of the Invisible Pink Unicorn. May her holy hooves never be shod.

We know she is pink because we have faith.

"Cause! I'm not going to potentially spend my entire life following the specific rituals and sacrifices required of a religion. What if it doesn't exist? Then I've wasted. My... Oh... Shit."

Gotta Uno reverse card Pascals wager on 'em.

Pascal’s little-known friend Luigi’s wager.

I'm usually worshipping Rigatoni instead, spaghetti are just too basic for me. Sometimes also Fusilli.

I believe the pasta heaven is very much like the old Greek and Roman gods: more of a large family than just a single lonely individual.

Because what if the lasagna monster is the real one and really hates people worshipping the spaghetti monster and subjects anyone who worships it to eternal damnation?

I want to believe that this is probably the actual Flying Spaghetti Monstert that made this post on Lemmy.

Because it would be really funny.

Is this AI?

No it’s an actual photo.
Big pasta is trying to suppress it.
No idea, I found it on Mastodon and TinEye can't trace it so probably.
- Pretty sure that this is the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
  May have to ask a practicing Pastafarian to weigh in on whether this is a legitimate depiction of the noodlely goodness, or whether it’s like a white Jesus situation.
No, this is Patrick.

Wildly overdone meme, but the art is honestly pretty cool in this case

Makes just as much sense as any other cult.

It makes way more sense than the other cults imo. Like, I won’t get disowned by my family if I change my mind, and in an emergency he can nourish me with his noodly appendage.
- he can nourish me with his noodly appendage.
  Certainly sounds more appealing than the blood and body of zombie jebus, I will admit.

Time....that I have to dedicate to stroking to imaginary sky god's ego. Apologizing for my "transgressions" because apparently just admitting to and apologizing for them makes you no longer in trouble for them anymore....because that makes a lot of sense. It's just real estate in my brain that could be better spent on other things.

he sees you when you're sleeping. he knows when you're awake

He knows if your fart is good, so fart good for goodness sake!

Ramen!

Then again, the first commandment

Idk man, "though shalt not have other gods before me" pretty much directly implies that other gods exist, and we're square just as long as I don't worship the flying spaghetti monster below God.
Then of course we shift to monotheism in the more recent Old Testament.
Don't eat the one fruit that makes you smarter?
- God is a jealous bitch, don't be talking to other gods.

I don't mean to sound cynical, but Pastafarian Is ment to be a joke. named after Rastafarians. People that thought Haile Selassie was the second coming of Christ.

Just as valid as any other religion.
- Blasphemous. The great pastawars will lack a lot of sauce
Certified whoosh moment
And....?
The Abrahamic religions started with a joke. God told Abraham to kill his son and then said it was just a prank, bro.
- That wasn't the start was. It started when God said " go to the middle of nowhere bro, trust me bro" "If you're going to make an insult, do it properly."
  Mike Wazowski 2001