Interior design

I'm going to say "I hope we don't get off on the wrong foot" and then they're going to ask me to leave.

Either that or you'll be sole-mates.
Bravo. This is a great joke that I will never have the right context to repeat...
- Life is cruel like that.

If the hotness is high, I will comply.

Bang them against the toe

What's wrong babe. You look sore?
I banged my toe SUPER HARD last night
It would be rude not to

People with foot fetish: ｡⁠◕⁠‿⁠◕⁠｡

Idk man I like feet and this is... unappealing
- Put an eye on each big toe and you have a spider!
I'm gonna put my foot up your ass 😏

I’d think the bed was ugly, but I wouldn’t say a damn thing. I’d just use those big toes for leverage.

At that point aren't you playing footsie with the bed?
- Hey, I’m down with a threesome

Have demented sex

Then we are gunna do the bad thang on the good foot.

I would feel defeeted

Why would have you a crush on Quagmire?!

Obviously I would look past all the positive attributes my crush has and never see them again. Following my retreat I would then begin to evaluate everyone elses taste while placing my own above them. Naturally, they would all fall short aswell and I will seclude myself entirely. Then I will become frustrated that I have no strong connections with anyone because they are beneath me and no one understands my greatness.

All because I couldn't see that that bed was funky and cool in a weird way.

I want to leave, but the doors are already sealed. Suddenly I hear a faint voice next to my ear: "Take off your socks"

... it's Shia LeBeouf!!

First I sit at the foot of the foot bed.

I'd get real anxious about not having had time to tidy up my toenails.

This guy knows what's up.

It’s a little bothersome that be toes don’t touch the ground

apologize. not everyone's kinks are universal and feet aren't my thing, and my feet lol... sometimes they're well groomed but on average tend toward goblin toes.

If they're a podiatrist, it might be ok

I would just cum. We would all do it, don't lie.

I'm frog leaping the big toes for a grand entrance.

I like the first pic where it's in an empty office space.

"For sale, office foot bed, lightly used"
It's kind of sinister there

If I was red foreman I’d ask if they ever shoved a foot up their ass.

I guess I'm getting a footjob, idk

Maybe discuss that it's anatomically questionable, the testosterone morphism of the toe lengths aside it also has all toes curled except for the big toe: despite having very capable feet myself I cannot do that and I'm not sure other people can.

Funny, I can easily do that and assumed everyone could
- same. ugly feet but prehensile toes are handy for picking shit up.
I'm not sure other people can.
Can confirm that some people can, also allows for a way stronger pinch than with fingers.