Dik Piks

Psh, amateurs.

When I really like someone, I let them see my big dick.

There's a Dick van Dyke joke in here somewhere.
- Gotta be a Tricky Dick.

Got any DOIs to share? I'd like to read about some bioreactors and polymer physics.

That career bragging tho... Girl that's a red flag

I would gladly send a dik pic of my own, provided she appreciates diminutive mammalian ruminants.

I still have never received an unsolicited dick pic. I’ve never struggled to get men to like me though… I wonder what it is about me that tells them not to bother with the picture.

over the many years I have been online, I have received 100s of unsolicited dick picks. I am a guy, and straight. meh, just letting me know to block them I guess.
rip ur inbox
You probably attract high quality men
It's been 15 minutes since you posted, how many did you receive until now?
Edit: here's something even better. A dik dik pic.

Spotted

... reply pls

Rufus!

Fermented omelet

I took a picture of a sparrow once. They’re called Spatz in German. In my local dialect, they’re called "Spotz" ʃpɔts in english it’s pronounced like "shpowts" - which is one of the words used for penis as well. Picture in German is Bild and in the local dialect it’s "büdl" ˈbʏdl in English pronounced like "boodle" (you have no pronunciation for ü).

So in my local dialect, a sparrow-pic is pronounced the same as a dick-pick. Spotzbüdl - ʃpɔtsˈbʏdl - spowthsboodle

Here, have some unsolitised tits and boobys
- Woah woah woah! At least post some SFW Boobies!
- Those are some nice tits and boobys.
  Looking at them really makes my
Your spotz is adorable! So short and fluffy!
We kind of do have a pronunciation of ü The cornish town Bude, would be pronounced by locals as “Büd” It’s how I explained to my kids how to handle umlaut words, if it was the English word “lane“ imagine it’s spelled ‘laen’ and then get rid of the e to make ‘län’. It’s rare but some English words still use æ as a sound not a pair of letters. Spelæological for caving for instance. Often simplified to speleological.
- I feel like it’s easier to tell English speakers to make an “eee” sound with their lips and then pronounce the vowel in question (ä, ö, ü) with the rest of their mouth (at least that’s how we do it when we sing in German, I know choral German doesn’t always line up with proper German pronunciation).

I sent you my penis pls respond

Damn, your penis is detachable? I hope they send it back once they're done.
- Detachable Penis: King Missile https://youtu.be/byDiILrNbM4
- fool, it's mine now

This felt like hearing one of those hardcore grannies dropping a truth bomb on their spoilt grandchild in public, and all people in a 10m radius shut up and start thinking if it also applies to them.

Doesn't happen often, but Balkan grannies are like Speed Metal when they hit.

The only dick pix I want to see are dik-dik pix.

https://marybatessciencewriter.com/home/2015/08/03/the-creature-feature-10-fun-facts-about-the-dik-dik

How can you tell a male dik-dik from a female dik-dik?

Look for the dik-dik dick

- I don't get it. Trekkies make good campus escorts?
Dik-diks are tiny....
- With a prehensile nose. And fangs. And smelly glands.
  And yes, so tiny they would probably roll coal in a lifted truck

So, you're not sending noods then?

I do like to send noods (recipe is adding salt & herbs to the noodle water, then adding cheese to herb noodles)
- salted noodle water? well look at mr. fucking gourmet over here, sheesh
- That's hot.
  For my spotted dick recipe, I like to let the raisins rehydrate in a bowl of lemon juice. Really gives the flavor a little extra pop of brightness.

i agree with them about men but the rest of this tumbl or whatever the posts on tumblr are called is giving sheldon

They're called posts.
- How original.

As gross as it is, the people sending dick pics aren't looking for your approval, it's a numbers game. If you're confident enough to hang that dong, someone is gonna be interested. Like I said it's gross but they don't do it because it doesn't work, you catch a fish with enough throws

Does it ever work at all? even 1 in a million times seems too many to me.
I've only known of that working in Grindr or sites like that where thirsty population is high, and where most people are seeking for that. But in normal social media I wouldn't expect to ever work, at all.
It is. But the reality of those sites is that for a guy the vast majority of your messages will never be read. You are shouting at the void and hoping for the best. This does not incentivize taking the time and psychological investment to write thoughtful messages, because you will send comparatively few and the lack of response is harder to deal with when you're more invested. It incentivizes sending the quickest messages that you care about the least to as many as possible. The guy didn't send her a dick pic, he sent every woman in a 50 mile radius the same dick pic hoping that with enough sheer volume he'll get a response.
It's basically spam that wants to fuck you, because non-spam options don't get you anywhere.
We know why they do it. That doesn't make it any less inappropriate. These guys don't care who they make uncomfortable in their quest for validation. It's like a kid that throws a fit to gain attention, uncaring about who they might hurt in the process. Except unlike a developing child, these men should be mature enough to know better.
So why would they get mad of someone doesn't react? The people asking me to help them get their 50 trillion dollar inheritance out of the country don't seem to mind when I don't reply.
If they did that irl they would most likely get arrested in most countries so it's kinda fucked up that they think it's still fine to do online
- There was a guy in my fraternity who did this. Every time there was a party of some kind he would swing by all the girls and introduce himself. "Hi, I'm Curry, wanna fuck?" (Curry was his nickname). He always went home with someone.

I don't see the relevance of her day job here?

It's just painting a picture. The story could just as easily been putting together a family dinner and focusing on what everyone's preferences that you've learned over the years. Or something more Lemmy based would be dealing with a production issue as a developer and then BAM dick pic.
It's just story telling to me.
While I agree with the fact that this kind of behaviour [i.e. randomly "hanging brain" (my new favourite idiom), unsolicited, in someone's DMs] is SO many shades of shitty in whichever context it happens, in this case in particular the job description* really does work for building up context and highlighting the dichotomy between the type of people who send dick pics and the type of people they sometimes reach.
As a bottom line, it should serve as a good enough cautionary tale about keeping one's damned junk in their pants unless someone wants to see it, because one'll most likely end up looking like an utter asshole while also potentially ruining someone else's mood for literally no good reason whatsoever.
(still me, blahaj is down)
Edit: to avoid any pointless "but it isn't just men" replies, of course it isn't just men, but women seem to not have such a huge friggin' need to expose themselves to unaware passers-by. This is me, speaking as an AMAB and approximately cishet. And I wouldn't like to see a random centrefold on my phone while checking my messages, either, to be perfectly frank. There's a time and a place, and many more factors before I get to that point.
- So apparently if you aren't a fucking scientist, then dick pics are okay to send to you.
  The "type" of people shouldn't fucking matter.
Plot twist, some of guys sending might also be similarly educated and employed at her level, but still will exhibit the Neanderthal brain on occasion.
skill issue

r/iamverysmart

This genuinely made me laugh!

what app?

username checks out

Lol I would pay to get scientifically roasted like that, she insane 😂