How do you get good at asking for help?
How do you get good at asking for help?
Things look bleach And every decision I make gets harder. I should work out to feel better. But what would make it easier just tell someone
How do you get good at asking for help?
Things look bleach And every decision I make gets harder. I should work out to feel better. But what would make it easier just tell someone
A good therapist helps a lot
For me realising that I care for people (as a job) and if I don't get it right my patients could get hurt means I'm much more likely to ask for help for anything from little simple things to bigger my mental health is suffering and I need more support from all aspects of my life.
Asking for help isn't easy, everyone wants to be strong and self sufficient, remember we are a social species and evolved to work in groups and help each other. Think how you feel when you can help someone or if you've been asked to help and remember that when you seek help.
Most people are very attentive when being asked for help.. and willing to do so. Think about that and kindly accept the gift of being helped.. be grateful and ask. But be aware that one thing is to ask for genuine help vs just wanting to be taken care off with little effort from your side.
I found it easier after understanding that everyone else is also struggling, everybody feels like they don't have their shit together, and everybody needs help. There might be a few people who claim they have it all figured out, they are not the ones I want to take advice from because they are full of shit (often they are some guru type and/or just want your money).
Also helps to realize that a lot of people feel bad because things are bleak - we struggle with climate change, alienation at work, being disrooted, at the brink of yet another war ... it's objectively hard to live during these times. The only thing that makes it easier is talking to each other. A woman visited me yesterday, told me about her problems with her health and her main problem seemed to be that she feels unproductive and too tired to get the things done she believes she should be able to do. After telling her that on most days I was pleased with myself for simply getting up, feeding the cat and brushing my teeth, and that I know so many more people who tell me they feel like this, she was visibly relieved, and I was as well.
So when we talk to each other it helps to realize there's nothing wrong with us personally - we are not failing at being a person, we are just reacting to the best of our abilities to an onslaught of trouble around us. Plus, when we talk to each other we often find out how we can help each other out in very practical ways - like sharing resources, supporting each other with our different strengths, ganging up together against the hardship. Community is how we can survive the hard times!
So is there someone in your life you can ask for help? Are you thinking about enlisting professional help like a doctor or therapist? What do you need right now?
You're already doing better than me by making this post, keep up the good work!