They're human, not a child-eating clown

All I'm saying is according to English grammatical rules it's a perfectly valid method of referring to a singular person when gender is unknown.

Now according to societal politeness rules on the other hand, it's rude as fuck.

It's not rude, it's dehumanizing. Slightly worse, right?
- Unless it identifies as another species, then it's still dehumanizing but also affirming I guess.
- I read this in JarJar's voice
- Don't say that word!
Lmao I was thinking that you mean they and was so fucking confused for a while thinking how rude I've been for YEARS.
I would say that, given that it’s never ok, it is part of English grammartical rules. In German they actually use two different words for when a human eats or when an animal eats, it’s not unprecedented and there’s no need to lend any credibility to the usage of the word “it”.
- There is a single precedent I can think of, which is that with some regularity I see infants/newborns referred to as "it".
- My point was merely to show the difference between what is grammatically ok vs what is societally ok.
  In time, I imagine English grammar will continue to change with the language and it will take on a definition that indicates something nonsentient.
according to English grammatical rules it's a perfectly valid method of referring to a singular person
show me ONE fucking example prior to 2000 of people using "it" for persons without it being dehumanizing
singular "they" has fulfilled this function for at least 500 years. "it" has never been a pronoun for humans, until it recently saw use as a neo-pronoun.
there is no grammar rulebook. grammar is usage. you are claiming that it's been used like that. you're wrong.
- You're more than welcome to go back in time and inform my 10th grade teacher of this. Lemme know how that works out for you.

I default to whatever the traditional apparent gender would be assumed I.E. you look like traditional woman/man I refer to you as such. Then I allow myself to be corrected if it's inaccurate.

The intent isn't offensive and I'm not going to ask each individual what pronouns are preferred but will respect whatever I'm informed is correct in each instance. I think it's being made into a mountain when it's really just a mole hill. You can't expect every human to automatically be correct or informed or even default to a neutral when it is not yet the norm.

It seems too trivial to be butthurt over if it isn't malicious, especially upon first interaction. Let the person know, then if ignored or dismissed it can be considered offensive.

I don't get upset when people call my Bugles potato chips, they are little crunchy cones of heaven

I started using they after 2 years accidentally misgendering a colleague from another country because it looked like she had a beard in Teams profile picture
- That sounds reallllly rough haha, hopefully it was taken with more humor than insult. I just go with ye ol "assume ignorance or mistake over malice" anytime an interaction like that happens. Majoritively it is one of the former and there was never an issue to begin with. Sorta like getting some fused Bugles, I doubt the company intended to send it to me, just a simple double delicious mistake
- This is a reasonable solution to continued mistakes.
I understand not wanting to ask everyone all the time, but defaulting to a neutral pronoun isn't going to become the norm unless people start using it even when it isn't the norm. That said, it does feel a lot less natural in Ukrainian and Russian to me, so I'm still trying to figure out the best option there. But in English, singular "they" is pretty widespread already, I think.
- I don't think singular "they" is that common except among very young people, and does lead to confusion.
  As an example, my brother once showed me a picture of a person on a dating app and said "they are nice" and I thought he was talking about the person's breasts...
  Also, "it" is dehumanising, I'd feel uncomfortable calling someone "it" even if they told me it was their preferred pronoun.
That's what I do Im autistic and struggle with names already and tbh folks that have pronouns that differ from what they look like just fry my brain as that's another bit of Data I have to remember especially when there are multiple people like that
- I'm very much the same way. Using everyone's pronouns perfectly, especially among people I don't know well, is a challenge. But all that's been required to get along with queer folks has just been a best effort and willingness to be corrected and move on.

Y'all.

Could you give this drink to the person of unknown gender over there? Y'all seems to have finished y'all's previous drink and we want to keep everyone happy!
G'huck

I just call everyone dude.

"Hey, dude."

"Wassup, dude?"

"My dudes!"

"Dude's crazy!"

There's people who don't like dude being used as unisex
- Can't help people who take offence when none is given. People need to stop taking what isn't theirs.
- Well, those dudes suck.
- Those people should stay in their homes and off the internet, so no one has to see them or speak to them.
- They aren't dudes.
- Nobody's asking the elephants how they feel about it
- This is how the neutral gender in latin, got absorbed into the male gender in most romance languages.
Some people have never seen Good Burger and it shows

I'm 100% down for normalizing 'it'

I see you have an MBA.

Gendered pronouns in most sentences are a waste and often lead to a false ascertainment. While I don't use 'it' for everyone, I would love to get used to it.

This is why the universal language should be Indonesian. No gendered words, no pronouns, heck there's even no tenses. By the way, you also pronounce the words the way it was written like Latin so there's no confusion on how to pronounce the words. The grammar is also straightforward enough you can just grab a dictionary and start speaking coherent Indonesian.
- After trying to learn Portuguese this sounds like heaven.
While I don't care about the gender crap (use what ever), I appreciate having a different pronoun for people or conscious things vs objects of any kind. They/them still holds info over it/that.
I admit I am a poisoned well, though. I was taught 'it' is outright disrespectful. Even before I knew LGBTQ+ anything, so it implicitly doesn't apply to people, IMO.
Roses are red,
violets are blue.
Singular they
predates singular you.
Serial killers refer to people as "it" already. They are the trend setters!
- I isn't gendered already...

I was on Reddit and used he/she. I was scolded by about 15 posters as to why I should be using they.

smh

Jumping down someone's throat about it is stupid - unless they're being malicious, then jump away and tear whomever a new one. They aren't technically wrong, though. "They" is an ideal word that's been correct in both the singular and plural sense for centuries. Given more recent social developments, it's an easy way to be inclusive and not "risk" being wrong.
(I'm assuming you used literally "he/she" to refer to someone of unknown gender)
- "He/his" used for be acceptable for people/things of unknown gender as well. Point out a random animal on a walk to your parents and there's a high chance that they will use male pronouns.
  In some obscure mmo I played as a kid, someone was referring to a famous mod with male pronouns, going how it is acceptable If you don't know the gender and it's more polite than the alternatives. Now this was long, long, long before agender, and other gendered terms were really a known thing. If you were to told someone you were gender fluid or something like that, they would look at you like you just grew a second head. I don't quite remember what was said, or why it was being talked about, it was around 20 years ago now. Things have changed since then.
  I still fall back on the male pronoun default from time to time, but I try not to as much. But it is a learned behavior that is hard to break entirely.
- In the past, English had "thou" for 2nd person singular and "you" was exclusive to the 2nd person plural.
  I don't see why that can't happen with "they" vs "he/she" too.
  Though it's a bit sad that it would likely result in a more ambiguous language that could potentially lead to misunderstandings. Unless we start to use constructs like "they all" for adding specificity, in a similar way as how "you all" (or y'all) is sometimes used.
I see where they're coming from. They is way safer in general. Covers people who are male, female, non binary or others. That being said reddit does have a problem with being unable to educate people. They immediately have to just insult and yell at you for it. I don't get it. It's just way easier to be polite. Takes effort to get angry and yell at someone. This is why I generally make only positive or jokey comments.
You would have thought things would change after reddit abused a family after the Boston bombing but nope. Same toxicity at an all time high.
- I would say it takes effort to be polite. What takes no effort is being rude or dismissive.
  Maybe you’re just naturally a positive person though which the majority of people aren’t (at least not on Reddit/lemmy)
- Why would I want to respect morons who dont give me the same benefit of the doubt though?
  In places where assumptions cause kneejerk downvotes and comments like you explained, I wont take the time to make sure to be 100% respectful towards people.
I was on Reddit ... scolded by about 15 posters ...
sounds like a success to me
he/she is pretty awkward to use when "they" is RIGHT THERE
"they" has been used singular for longer than "you" had been singular... if you have some weird "rulerslap me mommy" grammar fetish, you can successfully stay erect while using singular they by knowing it was good enough for chaucer, okay

It/that

Grammatically correct, as all things should be
Nah, I identify as multiple people, so it's they/them for me
- That wasn't asking

Dwight D. Schrute: Perhaps y'all should just learn Finnish. No gender pronouns.

I suddenly want to move to Sweden. Or just anywhere we don't need to have arguments about minor language aspects constantly.
- Sweden's primary language is Swedish, which does have gendered pronouns.
Just 90 ways to say "with"
- Wiz wit is non-optional in Finland, but there are 90 different ways to have wiz wit it.
- Nice.

Refer to people as "it" if you want to sound like a serial killer. "It puts the lotion on its skin..."

But what if you just want to know what it's got in its filthy pocketses, precious?

Then you have the Japanese that just refer to everyone by name and only use pronouns when you don't know the person's name

Or at any age if the gender is being revealed. "Is that a man or a woman?" "It's a man."
"Ecce homo!"

Learn turkish. We only have one pronoun (two if you count the plural). Also, no gender in job titles (or anything else).

Or most Austronesian languages

My vote is with for them/they.

i vote for "it" makes it unified for everything, ties it neatly up.
- It/that.

What about "that" or even "that thing" when you want to be fancy.

My pronouns are that/it.

I just use the humanoids name for everything. Go ask Bob over there. It's Bob's turn. I didn't do it, Bob did it. And then Bob said let there be light.

Probably should replace I with your name for consistency. "Dan is not liking Ken's attitude"
so you just don't use pronouns
sound like the dudes getting mad at their xbox

Me with a bad case of dwarf brain where everyone is he/him unless obvious or told otherwise

Jokes aside, they/them is fucking convinient and I use it all the time in english, I wish German had a equivalent!

i use entity

But that's a noun...
- meh whatever

Yeah that's Finland

I just refer to everyone as people or as that person and i also think dude is a gender neutral term i think? I dont know, feel free to debate that.

Dude IS a gender neutral term and I will fight anyone who says otherwise. We didn't have an entire decade of surfer bros calling everyone and their mother 'dude' for people to think it's gendered.
- It is, but if someone is uncomfortable being called dude, don't call them dude.
  PS: Shaka brah
- I couldn't stop myself from using dude if I tried. It's too much a part of me.
- If you talk about "that dude over there" I would definitely look for someone male, but maybe that's a me thing
- I know right?
- People tried to make “dudette” happen for a long time. But it never caught on.
- While I agree in the abstract for usage as slang, it isn't completely gender neutral.
  Would you refer to Romeo and Juliet as two dudes whose love ended in tragedy?

My pronouns are He, He, He.

If you were really brave, you'd be calling everyone she, because that would rile up the toxic masculinity guys like nobodies business
- Ever played d&d? The number of people who get furious every time they read the 3.5 players handbook because it uses she as default about 50% of the time is hilarious
He he he... 🤡

It puts the lotion on its skin or it gets the hose again.

Just grow the fuck up already!

While assuming someone's pronouns are it shouldn't be encouraged, using it as your pronouns is still perfectly valid

but who refers to themselves with third person pronouns
- No one that I know, but people often ask to be referred to with specific pronouns by others