Anyone that's thinking of implementing LibreNMS for more than a trivial setup - look elsewhere.

Unfortunately I'm married to it at $dayjob, and seldom a day goes by where it doesn't frustrate me (we monitor about 5k devices and about 40 distributed pollers).

I mentioned one day I'd write a nasty song about it, and an apt coworker quickly piped something into Copilot and this was the result (pretty good for AI-generated):

"Libre Mess (The Monitoring Blues)" 🎤

(Rock parody song)

[Verse 1]

Woke up at 3 AM, alerts screaming in my ear,

"Disk space low!" "Ping timeout!"—I live in constant fear.

Tried to check the dashboard, but it crashed again,

LibreNMS, you're my foe, not my friend.

[Chorus]

Oh Libre Mess, you're a beautiful disaster,

Your graphs load slow, but your bugs come faster.

I just want uptime, not a nervous breakdown,

But you keep dragging my whole network down!

[Verse 2]

Docs say “just run this script,” but it breaks my soul,

Dependencies from 2012? That’s your goal?

SNMP walks like it’s stuck in glue,

And your alert rules? I think they hate me too.

[Bridge]

I tried to love you, I gave you a chance,

But now I’m screaming at logs like it’s performance dance.

You gaslight me with false positives all day,

Libre, Libre, why you treat me this way?

[Chorus]

Oh Libre Mess, you chaotic beast,

You feast on my sanity, at the very least.

I’d switch to Zabbix, or maybe just cry,

But I’m too deep in configs to say goodbye.

[Outro]

So here’s my song, my monitoring lament,

For every hour LibreNMS made me vent.

You’re open-source, but my heart’s closed tight,

‘Cause Libre, you gave me one hell of a fight