Ron DeSantis fires roughly a dozen staffers in a campaign shake-up

Ron can't pull off "night of the long knives"; instead, he presents "midmorning of a short dick".

Maybe something like "Dawn of Disappointing Dicking" or close to that.
Remember, the historical events need to sound catchy!

Americans are rallying behind Ron DeSantis and his plan to reverse Joe Biden’s failures and restore sanity to our nation, and his momentum will only continue as voters see more of him in-person, especially in Iowa.

omg every part of this sentence is fucking hilarious

Ron isn't even that popular in Florida and he thinks Iowa is going to like him? Ron only got 26% to show up to vote.
- Didn’t he bus his Florida supporters to Iowa to create better crowds? Sad!
Every time they see him, his poll numbers stagnate or drop. The big state he focused on, New Hampshire, has Trump beating him almost 2 to 1.
He’s flaming out like Scott Walker did and it is glorious.

Wait for the headlines where he’s fighting with the other candidates. That’s when you know he’s really suffering. Can’t wait for his campaign of hatred to sink.

Americans are rallying behind Ron DeSantis and his plan to reverse Joe Biden’s failures and restore sanity to our nation, and his momentum will only continue as voters see more of him in-person, especially in Iowa. Defeating Joe Biden and the $72 million behind him will require a nimble and candidate driven campaign, and we are building a movement to go the distance," DeSantis campaign spokesman Andrew Romeo told NBC News.

this is some premium 'grade A' marketing doublespeak bullshit right here.

I am all out of can'ts to can not, here.

"Mr. Burns, your campaign seems to have the momentum of a runaway freight train. Why are you so popular?" "Ooh, a tough question, but a fair one."

transphobic jerk

I want to see the chaos between Trump supporters versus DeSantis supporters. However I worry if Biden is the nominees then whoever of these clowns wins the republican primary will be president.

I legitimately don't understand the concern. Biden has been an exemplary leader and consummate politician.
Is it age? Trump is only marginally younger and absolute rubbish?
Trump is more popular than Desantis in his home state.
The only way Desantis wins is it Trump is in jail and Trump isn't nearly as healthy as Biden. Biden may be older, but my money is on Biden surviving the next four years.
- Voters think Biden locked things down in covid (that was trump). That inflation is an entirely US-made issue that no other country faced and that somehow an imaginary Republican agenda would have saved it
  They think he's "done nothing" because the corpos want that to be the narrative
  Voters are fucking idiots
Biden is boring and not a great choice, but I expect most people are sick of the crazy. They have a loud rabid fan base, but it’s a di irish Ing part of the electorate at large. I don’t think they should be underestimated, but trump will do worse against Biden the second time.
- biden was not and is not my first choice, but until we push election reform that allows more candidate diversity I will support a less-than-ideal biden nominarion that acknowledges how important the progresive vote is to his success. progressive victories under a biden admin have not been inconsequential.
- Yeah, I didn't vote for him in the last primary, but he's better than any Republican, and it's not even close.
- Biden is boring and not a great choice
  Apparently you are somehow ignorant of or willfully ignoring what is actually happening thanks to Biden's administration.
  https://www.npr.org/2023/01/01/1143149435/despite-infighting-its-been-a-surprisingly-productive-2-years-for-democrats
  https://www.politico.com/news/2023/07/12/biden-economic-policies-00106032
  https://www.mankatofreepress.com/opinion/letters_to_the_editor/bidens-accomplishments-remarkable-in-historical-context/article_77542de6-33b2-11ed-ae33-5772b3871517.html
  Biden is a far better choice than ANY that the republicans have fielded since Eisenhower.

I assume they told him something he didn't want to hear, so they're getting fired.

Specifically that thai food pronounced like "tie" food not "thigh" food.

Thigh food sounds like euphemism for something, something not great.
- More info if you didn't know: https://uproxx.com/viral/john-oliver-ron-desantis-dating-trick-thai-food/
- Donuts.

Swamp Ass.

Trump has a fandom. Yes as in a multitude of people across this nation who believe in a lore around Trump.

Desantis can't contend against that. There's no way he'll win the primary.

I wish he would beat Trump but that's not going to happen.

I just had a conversation with my dad about all this.
Trump incited an insurrection on jan6 because he lost an election. He’s really not going to not run as 3rd party if he looses.
Which … would be an absolutely beautiful dumpster fire to see.
- Trump being the republican candidate is a Constitutional Crisis. The 14th, section 3 CLEARLY states
  #Section 3 Disqualification from Holding Office
  No person shall be a Senator or Representative in Congress, or elector of President and Vice-President, or hold any office, civil or military, under the United States, or under any State, who, having previously taken an oath, as a member of Congress, or as an officer of the United States, or as a member of any State legislature, or as an executive or judicial officer of any State, to support the Constitution of the United States, shall have engaged in insurrection or rebellion against the same, or given aid or comfort to the enemies thereof.
  But Congress may by a vote of two-thirds of each House, remove such disability.
  So unless trump can get 2/3rds vote in both houses to re-qualify him, he is ineligible to hold any sworn office in the United States Of America.
  The Constitution is not the bible. The right wing does not get to simply ignore the parts it dosen't like.
sigh
...if only they could both lose...
I just hope he sticks around long enough in the primary for the entire thing to become a big shit-slinging fuck fest. Doubt DeSantis actually has the guts to point any criticisms in Trump's direction though. Trump will likely walk all over him and DeSantis will continue to tie himself into knots trying to dance around Trump.
- They will both lose if DeSantis wins the primary. Trump is banking on the government being too afraid to arrest a presidential candidate during election season to stay out of prison and is famously terrible at conceding elections. He will absolutely run as an independent and split the Republican vote between him and DeSantis if he loses the primary, making it even easier for Biden to win reelection