Online dating

white text on yellow background, that's infuriating

I had to zoom in on my phone just to be able to read that!
When you're actually using the app instead of having the compression artifacts of being screenshot several times, it's not as bad.
- I don't care if you're watching it in 32k on Odin's personal account, white on yellow is NEVER acceptable for ANYTHING.
- It doesn't make it less of a crime against good design. Low contrast for reading is bad practice.
- It assails the eyes.

If someone does not take the least amount of effort to answer a simple question like that one .... then he doesn't care about you in the slightest.

"But its a generic question!"

Two words: common courtesy.

People (guys usually) also answer like this when they are trying to tell you exactly what you want to hear so that you'll sleep with them. They feel like if they give any wrong answer early on, they've lost their chance. It's a very manipulative mindset. He was like a deer in the headlights, not knowing if any answer he gave would be the right answer since he doesn't know her at all yet. So he stalls, hoping she'll drop it.
Or he might just be an idiot.
Either way, drop them and move on to somebody who will be real with you.
- In other words, playing games, i.e trying to "tick her funne bone" so he gets someone else to play instead of himself. But what most of those guys fail to acknowledge is that "tickling her funne bone" takes time -- it's not a "free pussy pass" of any sort that you "say it", and she goes "WHOOAAA fuck me mister! Fuck me right NOW!". That is not "acting tough" or smart, but acting like a douche.
- Yeah, that was my thought as well. This is the type of person who is only going to say something of they think it will impress you. The second possibility is that they will share nothing of themselves, period. In either case, they don't seem like good relationship material.
- They feel like if they give any wrong answer early on, they’ve lost their chance.
  To be fair, that's usually correct. Women have their pick of men, generally. If a guy answers a band she doesn't like, most likely she'll move on.
  So guys lie and tell her everything she wants to hear. And then once they get their foot in the door, they can start telling the truth.
  This guy handled it very badly but I can see why he didn't want to answer.
Nah it's one of those things where some guys just prefer to talk about what they think matters to everyone, their job or financial conditions, music or other personal stuff might just be an extra on their minds
- So an idiot.
  If someone asks you about your taste in music, then clearly music matters to them.

It's kind of nice when people reveal themselves to be insufferable douchebags at the outset rather than wasting your time.

her persistence indicates he is physically attractive

This is a red flag. It means he listens exclusively to Nickelback and Creed.

Ugh, also u2
- Biggest fucking red flag of all
Lmao, this is indeed a red flag, stay the fuck back haha

I've never had such an annoying color combination for a text message.

I passed this post like 5 times before I read it for this reason
Incidentally I just tried banana soylent and it’s pretty good.
It’s from bumble. That’s their colors

As a dude...

Dude...

The last four songs I've listened to on YouTube are three pirate shanties and "We Know The Way" from the Moana soundtrack. I'm not answering this question either. :)
- Smart move. Wouldn't want to intimidate anyone with your superior taste in music
- Fuck that, "We know the way" slaps

Id say she got to know just about eveything she needed to know about this person.

If that person can't share music, god knows what else they can't share

Someone's insecure about his Shakira collection.

Seriously though, I'm guessing this guy either doesn't like music at all (I've known a few and they act like this) or got made fun of a lot for his music tastes in high school. It's a shame this guy is probably a walking insecurity.

Which is a great reason to unmatch him and move on.

I didn’t even know it was humanly possible to not like music at all. What were they like? Like their personalities? Did they seem sociopathic or were they generally “normal”?
- Nobody's normal, we are all weird in our own way.
- There's a lot of good examples in the comments, but the few Ive ran into were more indifferent thsn anything - like, they never heard anything that appealed to them. One guy I knew actively avoided music because it'd get stuck in his head and drive him nuts.
  They seemed normal otherwise, for the most part. But they knew that disliking music was weird and were a little insecute about it.
- I used to not like music at all and 15 year old me would have probably responded just like this guy. But for me it was more that I didn't know what I liked until I heard it. Everyone around me exclusively listened to top 40 and RnB, or techno/house. I seriously thought there was something wrong with me cos I hated everything I heard. And then I heard metal for the first time, and everything changed.
Yeah this is like the people who would answer “radio” back in the day, when asked what their favourite music was ._.
early shakira songs in spanish are the bomb though, look up her mtv unplugged album
- ayooo whenever, wherever is 🔥🔥🔥 fr fr on god no cap fam
- Oh absolutely, no shade on Shakira at all. Just using her as an example of something a guy might be insecure about - which is of course, stupid. Don't be insecure about liking music, folks.
I used to share my music taste quite openly but these days not so much. Sharing stuff just gives some people more ammo to shoot you with when they want to try hold shit over your head
- You don't have a music taste problem, you have a social circle problem. Those people aren't your friends. Who, other than a kid in school, would willingly spend time with someone who “holds shit over your head”?

Bro doing "being mysterious" the wrong way

Bro is being long term single if this is his game.

You definitely got to know them, they kinda suck tho.

This is literally out of these incel playbooks. Straight up tater tot bullshit lmao.

The whole conversation is a facepalm. This should have been 3 lines:
"What's the last song you saved?"

'I am not comfortable sharing that information with you'
"Okay, if you're aren't willing to let me get to know your basic interests clearly this isn't the kind of relationship I'm looking for. Good luck and have a nice day" [ends transmission]
- That sure would be nice but that pesky ego/personality is a tough one to ignore.
  I personally found that a lot of the women I talked to on dating apps acclimate themselves by becoming more jaded, sarcastic etc as a defense.
  Can’t blame em haha
This guy is more of a volcel
- We should make subcategories it’ll be fun!
Tate is telling people not to be open about their interests?
- Nah, it’s the overall response pattern, tease, deny reject, feed after something really bad happens.
  It’s classical abuse techniques

How do you read light yellow text on darker yellow background?

Is the text actually yellow or are colors bleeding due to the image compression?
One word at a time

"It's something you've never heard of"

"How do you know?"

"...because I'm never going to tell you about it"

Maybe it's just a super closely guarded musical secret he has to keep. The cabal of music keepers does not take blabbermouths lightly

You don't want to date that guy, let the process work.

It's was Nickelback

Never made it as a wise man...
bro wasn't listening to anything and didn't know what to say
- That and he's a mega insecure duchebag. "I don't know, I haven't been listening much music lately" would have worked just fine, or at the very least it couldn't possibly be this bad.
What did Nickelback ever do to you?
- Nothing wrong with NB, was just being funny bc the internet hates them and is funny.
- I'm pretty amazed that people don't immediately hear the stereotypical doucheyness, as well as the teenager-pandering, intelligence-insulting, terrible messages the moment they hear Nickelback.
  Maybe I don't hate Nickelback for the same "gut" reasons the internet does, but I sure do hate them.

Something I was dearly hoping wouldn't find its way over here from Reddit: screenshots of posts which erase the posters' identity for no good reason.

Giving proper credit for content is cool, kids.

... nah. Doxxing is not cool kids.
- There's a difference between retaining the twitter handle of the person that publicly posted their conversation, and doxxing them.
In reddit, not blurring the person can lead to the comment section being angry at the person for some reason and in that case the person will get death threats in the best case scenario. There are many past examples of this. So all names remotely related to the real discussion (like here) better be removed.
Maybe Lemmy would be cooler than that but I'm not sure.
- In the "look at this foolish person posting something showing how stupid they are" situations that's the case and it makes sense. In "this person openly posted content you think is good enough to repost but are removing the indicator of their rightful ownership from" situations it's not cool.
Yeah but not in a private conversation
- An open post to their socials like this is not a private conversation.

Average Tinder conversation.

Basically why they are single, you must be desperate lmfao

She's desperate for asking a question and carrying a conversation? Tell me, how do you order your coffee in the morning?
- I tell the barista the way I want my coffee is something she probably never heard of, then ask her why she wants to know so badly. My type of coffee is not your average 25 year old's coffee these days, and laugh while asking why she wanted to know again. And then finally I'll ask "Why should I share the coffee I like with a complete stranger?" Then ignore her.

This is so weird. The first response was somewhat acceptable if in a joking manner but then he quintuple downed.

You know... It's seeing this type of stuff I'm so happy I found my wife the old fashioned way before dating apps existed.

seriously. I'd be doomed to die alone if i hadn't met my wife in college. thank god my friends decided to set us up on a blind date because we had the same birthday and they thought it was funny
- Yep now I just get to die alone.
I am also happy that my marriage was arranged.

Haha I’m so edgy haha why do you want to know? Haha you probably wouldn’t even like it haha.

I’m not like other 25 year olds hahaha

A cloud of adjectives surrounding no noun.

He's thinking "what does music have to do with me getting sex as quickly s possible?"

If he’s wondering that he’s an idiot

"It's just this old Papa Roach song, you've probably never heard of them. I'm just really unique like that."

What a cornball.

I have an eclectic taste in music
Every custom playlist is top-40 hits
"Cut my life into pizzas, this is my plastic fork"
That's how it goes, right?
- "Stuff a cake in, no beef in"

If it is any consolation for them, they definitely learned everything they needed to know.

"Why do girls keep ghosting me? I'm such a nice guy! Bohooohoooo"

Do they not want sex?

It was Coldplay.

What's wrong with coldplay
"You can't trust people. People like Coldplay and voted for the Nazis"

If I have to pry answers out of someone, I'd rather cut my losses and move on.

Does this guy think he's cool or mysterious?

He probably thinks she's playing hard to get or some BS.
- I think he is the one trying to play hard and it isn't working

Probably something like My Little Pony remix

Time to move to the next chat.

But you got to know what kind of person she is, right? The app did its job.

someone who thinks way to highly of themselves

More like someone who struggles with social anxiety and low self-esteem

I think with the horror show dating has become in general, people are becoming more and more afraid to be vulnerable in even the slightest perceived ways. 😞 There's a reason for the loneliness epidemic. Between mass narcissism and guttural fear of winding up with a person who will just use/abuse you, I'm shocked I haven't seen worse. 😐

Oddly enough, since I'm so used to being open when I'm ~anonynous on the internet, when I need a confidence push to be open with someone in person I just pretend I'm on the internet and they're a stranger, and bum bam wam suddenly I don't give a shit what they think of me & I can just speak comfortably
- I can imagine it going that way, too. It really depends on the person. It's odd...we seem to have built this culture around distrust and winning at any cost and it feels good at first glance. Once you dig deeper, though, the whole thing is just ugly. If I lost my husband, I'd voluntarily choose to be alone. I'm not willing to have my heart torn out and having it used to beat me within an inch of my life. >_<

Why be frustrated? This person just saved you a boring evening.

Havana. Now quick, name a band or artist you like

Raon Lee, mostly know for her covers, but her originals are also great. Next one below!
- The Hu. Mongolian throat singing x metal = rad. Next?

That is a red flag for certain and asking about music is a important factor in dating. If you don't like the same type of music odds are not in favor of making a connection.

That's total bullshit, sorry.
I've had fantastic relationships with people who like music I hate, and bad ones with people who like the same genres as me.
You can't judge someone's personality by their music taste outside of it just being basic or not. Such a strange thing to hang your hat on.
- If you can't connect with music you can't connect with other people. It's a core connector.

Sounds like my son. He hates sharing his music no matter what it is. Same with videos. It's so stupid. Just tell me and move on why is the 21 pilots song you're listening to need to be top secret.

Music and entertainment tastes in general tend to be quite personal, so it's probably a bit of insecurity. He'll get over it, just explain that it's not a test, you're just chatting. Maybe share some of yours first or something
- I agree with this. For some reason I am pretty personal about what I'm listening to as well. Mostly if I know the person asking me won't/doesn't like it I just don't care for them to comment that they don't like it or think it's weird what I'm listening to. Idk
- My favorite band is one that I tend not to tell people about because it's too much trouble explaining what they are.
  It's Sigur Ros, and anyone who knows them knows the struggle.
  But it's definitely not some basic 21 Pilots that everyone knows.
It's really weird to me. As a teen I loved telling the world what I was listening because it was obviously the best thing on earth, man.

Pretty sure it was Nickelback

Anyone else notice picture quality is bad on lemmy?

while you're at it. What's your mother's maiden name?

i'm confused, what is this meant to be riffing on
- Password recovery security questions

Online dating is one of the most exhausting experiences of my life.

People do that when they don’t have an answer. I can’t remember the last song I’ve saved, for instance.

What does "saving" a song even mean? I'm old and confused
- It's just something your average 25 year old does, why do you want to know so bad?
- liking/favoriting/adding to a playlist, etc

Afraid to say, I don't get this. What app is it supposed to be? I don't remember what song I saved last. Am I supposed to admit that, or just name a song? Which person in the cartoon is supposed to be the annoying one? There both seem annoying to me. Yes the white on yellow is very hard to read. BTW I have no idea who Elliot Smith is.

You sound like yellow in this conversation, not understanding that dating is about getting to know someone from the outside in. You gotta start somewhere, like a favorite song. You can’t jump straight to childhood trauma or politics or something or it will never work. Trust takes time.
- It sounded pushy to me when the person kept pressing the song question after yellow deflected it, but ok. Thanks.
The last music I downloaded was the entire album Raksha, by Bloodywood. The final song in the album would be Chakh Le, which is a really fun Indian metal song about rising up against the owning class
- Ayy I got into Bloodywood a little while back, they're pretty sick. Haven't gone through a lot of their catalog but cool to see them mentioned, seems like their fanbase has been growing a ton over the past year

Kudos to you for demonstrating interest in getting to know whoever you cross on these platforms (a rarity these days...) 🙌🏽

I relate to your discomfort. I usually unmatch or block such vibes bc the point of these apps is to date, which implies getting to know each other. If one is unwilling to put in the work (as minimal as it may seem), just spare folx who are interested in the above.

So much has changed in the dating scene. Sometimes, I am asked why I am being nosy or psychoanalyzing them. 🙄 Dude, you're on a dating app, right?

P.S.: I respect boundaries, but such questions are essential in familiarizing oneself with someone.

You use the term "you" a lot here. This is an old post, so you're not going to be talking to the actual person that experienced this

Anyone who can't answer a simple, innocent and curious question is not worth putting more effort into. That tells me that they prefer to be the one in control of the conversation and later, control of everything.

Almost as infuriating as giving chatGPT compilation errors and going in circles for a code fix

I literally broke down into tears doing this one night. Was running something that would take hours to complete and noticed an issue at maybe 11pm. Tried to troubleshoot and could not for the life of me figured it out. Thought to myself, surely chatgpt can help me figure this out quickly. Fast forward to 3am, work night: "no, as stated several times prior, this will not resolve the issue, it causes it to X, Y, Z, when it should be A, B, C. Do you not understand the issue?"
"I apologize for any misunderstanding. You are correct, this will not cause the program to A, B, C. You should... Inserts the same response it's been giving me for several hours"
It was at that moment that I realized these large language models might not currently be as advanced as people make them out to be
- Might I ask if you were using Chat-GPT 3 or 4? I had this as well, got send into circles for hours, with 3. Then I used 4.
  Only two bloody messages back and forth and I got my solution.

That yellow background is so unreadable 🍌

What confuses me is why they chose to use white text there... surely the orange background is bright enough for black text to be far easier to read?

I'm kind of torn on this one. His way of dealing with the question was bad for sure but I don't like sharing my personal tastes at first either because I'm insecure…

how do you do a cross post? I'm trying to cross post this to !datingredflags@lemmy.tf

I think you can't, just copy this post and reference it in yours
- Okay, so turns out you can just press the copy button that's available on the web interface and it kinda does it for you, with the attribution link. Yes, it took me two days because I was worried I would mess it up 🥺

People saying that the dude is messing it up clearly have no clue. He’s fishing for the kind of girl who’ll put out easily. See how much this person is clinging on to it, he’s a semipro player.

So you don't think just answering the question like a normal human being would of been the better way to have a conversation? It really doesn't sound like this is even working on her.
- If he was looking for a healthy relationship then, yes. But clearly he’s looking for something toxic that would feed his depraved ego.

I don't get why she kept asking. If someone acts like that, next.

Don't feed the troll!

High odds of a bot

People who are single in the age of internet dating are single for a reason.

And that reason is EVERYONE ELSE IS WRONG AND I’M NOT GONNA SETTLE FOR THEM MOM

sometimes I wonder if the point of those apps are not to suggest having sex, but since normal conversations don't work, I really don't know anymore.

oh yeah and by the way, we cannot talk to women in the street, it's creepy.

I’m a retail employee. My job is literally to seek out customers and ascertain their needs. I wear a bright red uniform of the store I work for.
Yet you would not believe the number of women who treat me like a low-level creep for walking up to them and asking if they need help.