What is a relatively inexpensive 'luxury' item that you will always purchase for any future house?

A bidet.

Maybe I'm doing something wrong, but I don't get the point. I was convinced by a billion people online and got a nice one with water and seat heater, dryer and a ton of other features. It sucks. Nobody in the family likes it or uses it now because afterwards you're still wiping dirty ass that's now wet.
None of us are especially fat or have weird bodies as far as I can tell.
Do the rest of you really get up with a clean asshole that you can just tap dry after?
What the fuck are we all doing wrong?
- I’m a very hairy guy, so getting really clean down there is challenging sometimes. With the bidet I wiggle a bit to make sure the whole area is clean, and I usually do it a couple of times.
  And sometimes I wipe to dry and it’s still dirty… I think it has more to do with my diet than anything else. When that happens I just rinse and repeat, or I jump in the shower. Once I realized how much cleaner I feel after using water instead of just paper, I can’t go back.
  For anyone else reading this who doesn’t already have a bidet, don’t spend your money on the really fancy ones. You can get a basic model on Amazon for less than $50 (my first one was only $20), and unless you really want the heated seat, deodorizer, or other features, that’s all you need. The water pressure on the cheap ones was way better than on my fancy electronic one too.
- Wipe first. Use soap if you want to be really clean.
  I got a cheap bidet a few years back and I use it all the time. The fancy ones can be nice but most of the extra features are gimmicky things that don't have a large impact on function. They're marketed like magic poop-away devices but bidets aren't magic. Bidets are showerheads for your toilet bowl meant to make buttwashing more accessible. Use your bidet like a butt-shower instead of a magic no-effort poo cleaner and you'll have better results.
- Same - my butt is cleaner but it's not worth the hassle of it being wet now. The dryer on mine isn't any good.
  Wiggle around a bit to get cleaner. But I'm not a fan of ours.
- Your diet is bad.
  Have some actual (not instant) oatmeal every morning, and a good sized portion of non fried veggies with dinner and marvel at the change.
- The difference between wiping a dry asshole with shit on it and wiping a wet asshole with some shit and some shit water on it is why a bidet is worth it.
I got the Tushy Spa bidet for my toilet. It has cold and hot water attachments points. warm water and no electricity needed.
- TBH, the cold water never bothered me. Now that I have a heated version it is really nice, but not worth the extra money.

Ethernet.

So my counterpoint on this is that in my last house I ran ethernet everywhere but really only needed 3 drops because everything started to use WiFi.
So when I moved into my current house I ran it to only 2 places where I was certain I wanted hardwired, and put WiFi APs at those drops to give good whole house coverage.
- One drop to each room is good enough, you can always drop a 4 port switch into a room that needs more.
- I agree honestly. I have a hard wire connection at 2 points in my home... Where my work desk is, and in the garage, which is at the complete opposite side of my house as my WiFi router. I have a could devices hardwired on the garage, including an AP, so now the entire property has WiFi. Everything else is WiFi anyway, so why bother running wire everywhere!?

Professionally installed wired networking? The more detailed pre-purchase survey?

It's not that expensive but it's also not inexpensive but I highly recommend that if you have to replace your hot water heater that you get a hybrid hot water heater, more so if you live in a warmer climate.

It is a win-win.

One, it is more efficient at warming your water, saving you money and ultimately paying for itself over time.

Two, it takes the coldness out of your water and blows it into the air of your home, saving you money on cooling your home.

Three, it will dehumidify your air, making the sweltering summer months all the more pleasant.

It will cost you approximately $1,000 more than a standard electric water heater of the same size, but if you live anywhere south of the midpoint of Colorado, it will pay for itself in energy savings in less than half of its lifetime and the savings after that point will pay for its replacement when its time is up.

Plus you might be able to get government incentives for it.
In a similar vein, heat pump clothes dryers. Due to the way they work, they can dry your clothes more gently than a traditional dryer.
I had never heard of this so I had to Google. It seems the advantages you are talking about don't all necessarily apply if your water heater is outside then, right? I mean, I guess it'll be a bit more energy efficient, but cooling and dehumidifying effects are only if the water heater is indoors, correct? There is not a system to do any sort of interior cooling for outdoor water heaters, no?
Forgive me if these are stupid questions. I hadn't heard about this type of water heater before. I live in a hot climate, but my water heater is in an outdoor storage closet.
- Yes, it's for a water heater being inside with sufficient ventilation. If your water heater is currently in a garage or separate area the benefits change.
  I'm in Texas, and over 90% of the houses I've seen have the water heater in a closet somewhere inside. Some older builds have it in an attached garage. But if that is the case, there's a good reason to move it when you next replace it, as the garage gets much colder in the winter, costing more to heat the water!

Thick, foam mat to stand on in the kitchen and at the bathroom sink.

I can run and hike for hours, but standing in one place for 5 minutes wrecks my lower back and the arches in my feet. Been like that since I was a teenager.

So, the foam mat is essential for daily cooking (even 3 minutes for eggs), cleaning dishes, and hygiene (brushing teeth, washing face).

I have one similar to this one, purchased 6+ years ago (before I started limiting Amazon purchases). It’s held up great - it looks brand new. No cracks, or signs of wear. Still just as squishy as when I first got it.

https://www.amazon.com/WiseLife-Kitchen-Cushioned-Waterproof-Standing/dp/B093L2RP56?source=ps-sl-shoppingads-lpcontext&psc=1

What about footwear with more shock absorption?
unlock your knees

This is sad to say but I've lived so much of my life with making everything "passing" or "just enough" that for me bringing everything up to snuff feels like a luxury.

So like whoever had this place before me half assed that plastic crap you line a shower with. It was coming off and the caulk job was god awful so bought a couple things of liquid nails, took it apart, checked for leaks, fixed a couple little things, glued shit back together and caulked it properly. Another thing is recently I had to go down the rabbit hole of having a well and holy crap the things that are wrong. I spent hours looking for and measuring the casing of the old well and finally found what I needed and wanted for like 100$.

It feels like a luxury to spend the time, effort, and money getting shit done right and knowing that I don't have to worry about it when I'm done.

A big toilet. I replaced my little ones from the 80's when I was getting my house ready for sale because my real estate agent told me to. The new ones were so much more comfortable! I wish I had put them in right after moving in rather than right before moving out. Now I have to settle for a little toilet again because my bathroom is small, and it's not great.

A bidet and a High Sierra showerhead.

Your showerhead runs OSX?
Both of these are must haves.
Throw in one of those shower extensions. E.g "Faucet 10-inch Adjustable Extension Shower Arm"

Cat

I really like warm lighting in general so I replace every light bulb with a warmer color. I particular under cabinet lights and above cabinet lights are cheap and easy to do with led strip lights now. I love indirect lighting and task lighting and you can do a lot with $100.

High CRI lights give more luxury feel. It's hard to get back to cheap lighting now.

Dishwasher and an L2 EV charger

level 2 chargers at home are such a nice thing to have. its so nice for a quick stop at home to get a few things before leaving again and getting some extra range : D

2 dishwashers. 2 water heaters.

I have that in my current house and it's amazing.

Why 2 dishwashers?
- One for business and the other for pleasure
- Cooking for 4 uses a lot of dishes. Modern dishwashers are also much slower because of energy efficiency.
Why two water heaters and not just one big one?
- They don't make them that big but the other big reason I like it is because they are piped together with bypass valves so either one can fail and we still have hot water while waiting on a repair.

Smart lighting.

Specifically Philips Hue with the switches that look like normal switches/dimmers.

The bulbs are pricey but I've had some of them for 10-15 years. Still going strong.

Hot water recirc pump

Fridge with auto defrost and an oven with pyrolitic cleansing function.

If you get to replace these I'd shell out a little extra on these qol features.

Defrosting the fridge and cleaning the over are a chore I get very happy about not having to do anymore.

New slow close toilet seat. Slow close cabinet hinges (or the aftermarket accessory to convert normal cabinet doors into slow close).

I always buy lots of gold bars for all my houses. /s

Are these threads hedgefunds looking for something to arbitrage?

Whole house humidifier. They're great if you live anywhere where it gets dry in the winter.

Curiosity: how much room does one take up? I would love to have one, especially for the winter, but there is 0 room in my utility closet.
- I have the furnace mounted style so a cube about the small dimension of most heat ducts.
- Depends on the model. I figure about 2 ft. X 2ft. X 2ft. Is about average.

Smart lighting + Google Home

Doggy door

Home server NAS

Smart Lights It is great to be able to control the light. Make it bright and cold for cleaning or work, dim it and make it warm for cozy evenings. Wake up by slowly increasing the light instead of burning your eyes in the morning with the power of 1000 suns. Even those Philips Hue Kits are not that expensive, but there are even cheaper alternative bulbs out there. Look for Zigbee, they are all kind of compatible.

HomeAssistant Get a cheap thinclient or raspberry pi (~100€). Set everything up. Control your smart stuff with an awesome privacy friendly interface and build automations you couldn't even dream about a few years back (like "Water the lawn, but not if rain is predicted")

robot vacuum Why should i vacuum my house when there is a robot totally capable of doing it?

3D printer Sounds a little bit crazy, but you can buy a 3D printer at ~150€+ and it's awesome to print little custom fixes and stuff for your home. Is there some ugly gap or device somewhere? Print a custom cover. Broke something? Print the replacement part.

Long charging cables