12mo ago

Brazilian Sharks Test Positive for Cocaine

gizmodo.com

29 comments

I'm Dr. Sharkzo and I like cocaaaaine.
(I understand this reference might be a bit old for most of the platform but if you're unfamiliar with it just browse some clips of Dr. Rockso)
- Ca-Ca-Ca YEEAAAHHH, baby...
- Metalocalypse isn't old, it only came out... 18 years ago... damnit
  
  There is a person somewhere who just finished their SATs and was conceived to... DUNCAN HILLS COFFEE
- So much cocaine...
- A coo-coo-coo-coo!!!
Cocaine shark do do do do do do
- That song has to be a by-product of cocaine use
- "jar jar binks has a caribbean black accent"
I assume Cocaine Shark is already a movie on Tubi, but if it isn't give it a couple weeks.
- It's a movie produced in 2023: https://m.imdb.com/title/tt27036391/
  Shockingly, it's not made by The Asylum.
  
  I'm kind of impressed. I've never seen a 1.8 imdb rating before
  
  Nice. And yeah, it's on Tubi. I think it can be properly reclassified as a documentary given this article here.
  
  And if you think that one's scary, wait until you see Cocaine Pangolin.
- Is that the sequel to Cocaine Bear? Where the sharks start swimming up rivers and they release the bear to fight the shark.
  Like a Godzilla movie?
  
  First off, I get pretty serious about Godzilla movies, so we'll leave that alone out of common decency.
  Second, the movie you're describing is a franchise crossover between Cocaine Bear and Cocaine Shark. I heard they're bringing Meth Moose in for the follow up.
  
  Let them fight
How can a shark even do cocaine without a blowhole?
- Through the gills
- There are the real questions.
  Mabes they like feeling on their gums
Does that mean they're banned from the Olympics?
- No, they just can’t compete under the shark flag
I didn't even know there were that many sharks
...And my guy can't find shit.
Brazilian snowpowder, works on people, works on sharks. Wonder what else it'll work on.

29 comments