It's how you turn a goth gf into a goth wife

"How long has it been since we've waltzed?"

"Oh, Gomez...hours."

I'm a Gomez at heart but more of a Fester in the looks department.

The key to Gomez energy is his sincerity. You might not be able to draw a Morticia (because she's probably already got a Gomez) but a Fester with sincerity who aims with his heart rather than his eyes/dick has a good chance of finding true love.
- Well, you brought a tear to this bald man's eye and hope to his heart. Amen.
- According to the first movie, Fester was more of a ladies man than Gomez, or at least that's what Gomez thought.
I'm more of a cousin Itt in the looks department while being a Gomez at heart
But I feel you friend
- So you are a member of ZZ Top?
Gomez was never supposed to be good looking.
Original Gomez:
i have the opposite problem.
- You have a sweet ass pencil moustache but can also power light bulbs with your teeth?
Money solves that part. In rare cases charisma pulls you out, but that's much harder to achieve.
- In rare cases charisma pulls you out, but that's much harder to achieve.
  Spoken like a person with no charisma.

I’m not goth, but my husband treats me like Gomez treats Morticia. Can confirm that a lot of sex happens. So, like, do it.

"You scared me... I want you to do it again."
Can confirm they fuck a lot
- Nice.
This is the way.
John Astin or Raul Julia?
(I know there have been other Gomezes, but those are the only two that count.)
- Luis Guzmán
👍

As fun as Wednesday's show was, these two were just the quintessence of the roles

Their competition wasn’t that fierce, Luis Guzman is a great actor, especially when being comical, but he very much is NOT Gomez Addams. But no matter who it was, I doubt they’d be able to beat Raul Julia or Anjelica Huston.
- It also doesn't hurt that Anjelica is always illuminated like she's from another movie altogether (credit to CinemaTherapy). The director turned the glamor factor up to 11 in every scene without breaking anything. It's impossible to follow that.
  Raul, somehow, manages to be a complete ham yet relatable, lovable, and most importantly, believable.
- The legendary John Astin and Carolyn Jones might like a word!
  That show was just weird as hell to watch growing up, along with The Munsters and to a lesser extent Bewitched.
  To be fair, their movie portrayals were amazing too.
- I doubt they’d be able to beat Raul Julia or Anjelica Huston.
  I feel like these two have always been Gomez and Morticia. Even the series was just a pale imitation.
- I'd love Johnny Depp and Winona Ryder to take it on.
- Its a pretty cool way that we all think of Gomez as Raul Julia. But this was OG Gomez
- Benicio del toro
  Javier Bardem
  Diego Luna
  Efren Ramirez
- Really? I'd have to vote Guzmsn over Raul. Don't get me wrong I love Raul and he was my og Gomez. But Guzman just had a better craziness I feel. That being said I watched them years apart, and Guzman had a few wildly amazing roles that might be swaying me.

Gomez lives off generational wealth and thus spends his time culturing himself with dance, art, and seductive languages.

I work until it's not safe to drive home because I'm so tired and my eyes don't work. I crawl home on surface streets, collapse into bed for a brief nap, and get up to go do it again because the man needs his dollar.

My spirit may be willing, but my flesh is spongy and bruised.

Idk man that sounds pretty macabre. Are you sure you're not going for a goth chick? /s
How much time to put a little product in your hair?
How hard is it to listen to a language lesson instead of that song you've heard a million times?
Get some nice collared shirts instead of fanboy T-shirts?
Watch one how to dance video?
- Product - use daily
  Language - speak English, Spanish, and Korean, though the latter two are admittedly falling off from lack of use. Lived overseas for four years in my twenties
  Collared shirts - wear daily, but I'd guess that's not goth chick bait
  Dancing - was religiously prohibited from such growing up and never took an interest in it
  Personal skill - I can cook like a motherfucker. Like really good stuff. If I believed in love languages, mine would be feeding others. The women in my office make weekly requests for me to cook whatever they're craving over the weekend and bring it in on Monday.
  But I'm talking about energy. Gomez spends his entire existence striving toward being Morticia's everything. I don't have enough gas in the tank after seventy or eighty hours of getting yelled at for my income.
  Next up, since everything is so easy, I guess I just simply waltz into another job, right?

Debbie Jellinsky: [meeting Gomez] Isn't he a lady-killer!

Gomez: Acquitted!

The writing was so exemplary. And it's one of those deals where the sequel is actually better than the first eg Gremlins, Shrek, Bad Boys

Some of y'all ain't worth gomez energy but ain't ready for that conversation

Str8 facts!

Cara, mia!

Mon cher!

Sigh I had to tone it down cause i was "too much". I wasn't even trying hard. Literally holding back now but that how spouse wants it.

Comments like these just make me believe my decision never to marry was a good one. I understand love is about compromise, but sacrificing freedom is not worth it, I don't think. You are who you are. Why would someone marry and then try to change their partner. Marry who you want not what you want them to be. Kind of backwards.
- Imo anyone who doesn't feel free in a marriage is doing it wrong. Compromise is for things like getting orange juice with some pulp because one likes lots and the other likes none, not compromising who you fundamentally are as a person.
  Don't marry someone who doesn't appreciate the quirks that make you you.
- You got it wrong. The spouse did mrry who they wanted, it's just not who OP is. The lesson should be "be yourself" not "Don't get married because then you can't be yourself".
- I always believe living itself requires sacrifice. Sure I feel restricted but when am I not? There is always some rule I have to accept. Personally, being with someone close to who you want to be and editing them over the decades is more acceptable to me than constantly find them. And I did try for years but no one else really gave me a chance or worst I have 0 respected for them and they made me feel terrible for even considering them. But here is a person who has always been a great friend but is just repressed and won't open up. Take the bird in the hand is my choice.

Is she truly a goth GF if she isn't big tiddy

Yes.
The fact that "big titty goth girlfriend" is a phrase means that having big titties is not a requirement to be a goth girlfriend. No one says "athletic Olympic champion wrestler."
- Apart from the Mediterranean Italian Roman philosopher Tautologous the Redundant
Isn't Tish like... the OG goth GF
- Things evolved

I mean do girls actually like that thin moustache? And I feel like if I walked around in one of those velvet jacket things everyone would just be creeped out and/or think I'm wearing it inside out. And I'd be hot, like sweaty kind of hot.

I can't speak to the pencil moustache, but that's a smoking jacket. It's meant to be worn indoors while smoking to keep the worst of the smell off of your clothes.
A smoking jacket is allowed to be more loud and flamboyant because it's only supposed to be worn in the house, so only your family and guests would see it. It's not exactly the thing one would wear out and about.
- Oh, that is rad. TIL
Gomez never went out in daylight. The jacket is meant for walking slowly through ancient graveyards.
If you can pull it off, yes.

Its gonna take a lot more than some "cara mia"s to hold onto the dark

I'm still stuck at the gf part.

I'm loving this thread

Meh.

Freedom is better than marriage. Bachelorhood is underrated.

You're being downvoted by people that can't be alone with themselves.
- or by people with more complex understandings of relationships and the social nature of humans.
  it's like saying "eating an apple pie is better than pressing your face into the hot oven that baked the pie"
  yeah. But that's not the only two options in life.
- Yup.
  That's okay. They'll remember me when they wake up next to someone who hates them and they have two or three screaming children that won't let them sleep.
- Or people who thought the same way until they met someone.