1y ago

I go out of my way to not crap at work.

39 comments

You're doing it wrong! Nothing better than getting paid to poop!
https://www.jeffgeerling.com/sites/default/files/images/elmo-boss-makes-a-dollar.gif
- Wait, what. Why is this gif hosted on Jeff Geerling's site of all places?
  
  What, you don't think he poops too?
- That gif is when you are trying to get out a fat log after being constipated for a week.
- Boss makes a dollar. I make a dime.
  That’s why I poop on company time.
- You wanna be careful sharing that GIF.
  
  That guy pretends he was fired and sued for sharing that meme. He was neither. He was told off, got butt hurt and stopped going to work, got fired for not going to work, lied about being fired for the meme and got sued for the lie
The solution to cheap toilet paper
Whenever I have to use thin TP i just use way more of it. So much for saving money, dipshits.
- Fistfuls. Like wiping with a baseball. That's obviously the intended purpose of cheap toilet paper.
  
  I don't know why but the image of wiping with a baseball is hilarious to me.
bidet gang
- You’re downvoted but there are travel bidets
  
  Zamn even bidets are travelling and living their best life while I'm stuck at 9 to 5
That’s the wrong attitude. BYOTP just to crap on company’s time.
So we are all just gonna pretend she's not an alien, right?
- She's the most beautiful woman in the world is who she is. Alien? Fine by me!
  
  Oh I didn't say she isn't beautiful. She's a beautiful alien.
- If that's how aliens look like I'd let them use my body for experiments
I just put a toilet in my camper van. My own place to poop no matter where I am!
- Do the turds fall straight to the highway as you're driving around?
  
  That would be gross. He uses a vacuum ejection system to shoot them 100 metres into the air and outside the environment.
- which type did you choose?
Same.
I actually keep a small amount of TP in my briefcase for when it has to happen.
- Man that's such a good idea, I need to invest in a bathroom briefcase, with a built in cyberdeck and subwoofer
  
  LOL
  Sounds awesome.
- fannypacks
This is honestly one of the benefits of WFH, no need for 1 ply, I can have 2 ply or maybe even 3 ply if I'm feeling fancy.
Best piece of ass I ever got
It's like trying to wipe my ass with a CVS receipt. That's why I never leave home without my supply of 2 ply
The things I would do to your finger...
idgi, who is that?
- The point where is that the dress represents the TP and Anya Taylor-Joy represents their finger.

39 comments