it ain't the herps, I swear
it ain't the herps, I swear
21 comments
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This, legitimately, is what would happen to me. This kind of shit comprises the vast majority of my life story.
Fuck
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Don't cook homemade caramel.
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AKA confectioners napalm
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Larry David is that you?
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If my hairline keeps migrating, i may look like him soon
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You know what got me to stop wearing contacts for good? Bacon grease popped directly into my eye.
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Could be worse, could be burn from hot candied nuts. Try explaining that one
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I've got a scar on my foot from a splash of caramel fresh from the pan
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If the sausage grease is boiling hot, someone might need to see a doctor...
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Don't demonic possession shame people. They are vessels and can't choose the nature of the spirit that has taken their mortal form.
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Don't use your teeth!
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It's not the herp, it's the derp.
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Por que no los dos? Even Wizards get it from their parents.
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I always poke them with a fork first to relieve pressure
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Forking does relieve pressure.
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"Is that a blister or a coldsore?"
I got it by getting squirt by a hot sausage.
"Do you have any idea how little that narrows it down?"
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You people bake your sausages?
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So "hot food". Problem solved.
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Amateur move! Gotta be careful around hot sausage splooge.
21 comments
A big brown dripping hot sausage. 😈
You had me at dripping.. 💦