Russia Declares War on ‘Mediocre Actor’ George Clooney

Trump will call him a mediocre actor in one of his upcoming rants because Trump is Putins cock holster

You shouldn't degrade cock holsters by lumping Trump in with them.
- My bad
- Any Cock Holster used by Putin is automatically degraded.
- <Noob Noob>
  : God damn!
As someone who's had a grudge against Clooney since 2001, please don't make me agree with trump.
- But Clooney didn't act in 2001. Or was there a remake with him, like with Soderbergh's Solaris?
- Why the grudge?
- What the hell did George Clooney do to you in 2001?

Mr. Clooney's reaction upon hearing the news:

What is this from? I guess I've never seen him in his youth
- Return of the Killer Tomatoes (1988)
Do you have just like a trillion gifs saved somewhere, or do you make them on demand?
- Not op but if I need a specific gif of some movie I was reminded and I cant find it online I'll go on my plex app and record my phones screen and then use that to make a quick gif on imgur haha
- Nah, I just have a "trivia night" kind of memory and find them as needed.
Beer and an Oh Henry?
Yeah, feed him to the Siberian Tigers. That's as bad as beer and a PBJ.
- That combo might go with this:
  Not that I would ever drink such an abomination.
- Whats wrong with beer, and a personal blow job?

I wouldn't fuck with George Clooney, Russia. His much more important wife is probably already planning to take you down in the ICC.

Holy crap. TIL https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amal_Clooney
- Yeah, it really sucks that her husband is more well-known than her and I have a feeling he'd agree.
Not if the US takes down the ICC first!
- What are they going to do, bomb The Hague?
Suddenly the whole thing with him owning a spy satellite makes more sense.

Makes me chuckle to think that Russian propagandists are like 'Well no one will believe us if we call him a bad actor'

It's like during the crusades again when they accused the other side of acting in bad faith.

It's about time someone makes Clooney pay for his role in Batman and Robin.

He'll just use his Bat-Creditcard
- This sits right in the middle of the Bat Water Faucet and Mr Reese and I'm all for it.

Oh no haven’t they seen the Oceans series?

O Brother, Where Art Thou? is my favorite movie
- Yeah, I was gonna say, I really prefer that to the Oceans movies.
- Fantastic film. Have you read The Odyssey by Homer?
The Russian dub of Fantastic Mr Fox didn't get Clooney and putin's been pissed ever since...
Or The Peacemaker. He killed a lot of Russians in that movie
Meh, he's been in much better. Those are just OK heist movies.
- They're perfect cable TV movies.
  If you happen to have that still.
- Out of Sight being the best one.

Well now you have just gone too far.

The greatest batman of all time is gonna bring it to them.
- Nana nana nana na gratuitous nipples!
- So, Kevin Conroy's ghost is going to haunt Putin?
You can spread propaganda about Israel but we draw the line with George Clooney

I'm sooooooooo confused by this story. First off, how is George Clooney authorized to arrest anyone??? Under what authority? And where would arrested convicts be held?

I guess the russia side of the story makes sense from their perspective. State run media, is spewing state run propaganda. That I get. I don't agree with it, but I understand what is happening.

But I don't understand how George Clooney is arresting anyone. Can Tom Hanks set up a foundation and arrest people? What would happen if Tucker Carlson moved to russia, and set up a foundation to arrest American reporters?

I do not understand the rules here at all.

I assume his nonprofit is finding people with arrest warrants, and telling police where they're located?
And where would arrested convicts be held?
Why, in the batcave, of course
- Bat-cell
George doesn't have any authority to do so. His wife, Amal however, is a prosecutor with the ICC.

Mediocre? He's the goddamn paterfamilias!

He's bonafide!
- "Pewtin here's got a job! Pewtin's got prospects!"
Damn, that's a deep cut.
- Well, we ain't usin' Fop, goddamnit.
They think... He is... A toad.
- A horny toad?

I guess we will have to arrest renowned Russian actors like.... Ehhhhhh... Eva Elfie?

Seriously, I was going to say Milla Jovovich but she's Ukrainian.

Mila Kunis? Nope, also Ukrainian
Olga Kurylenko? Wait, no, Ukrainian as well.
Don't bring Eva Elfie into this
I do enjoy her work
She is a master of her craft
- She's indeed a master bait.
  I don't know her ideologies, but I'm willing to separate the persona from her works.
Ivanna Sakhno? Wait, no, also Ukrainian.
.
I guess we will have to arrest renowned Russian actors like… Ehhhhhh… Eva Elfie?
I mean, it's understandable that you want to arrest or at least detain her.
- I would like her to arrest me honestly.

Oof, is Russia going to war on two fronts?

Ask Hitler how well that turned out for him.

Russia on its quest to find something it can fight and win against.

And they chose Batman?
- They're not very good at it, are they? :D
Clooneys don't seem that.
- That was the USSR, helping the allies. They've wasted all the former might of the USSR in their war in Ukraine.

Uh oh. Now Fox News has to run non stop breaking news about fabricated stories involving Clooney. Can’t wait for house republicans issue subpoenas to George Clooney for investigations into his woke agenda

God dammit.......as someone who loves absurd comedy, and has had a grudge with clooney since 2001, don't make me watch fox news for what sounds like a hilarious feel good onion-esque "news" report. I don't know where we stand in life anymore. Life feels like satire, so a satire news report is just being presented as real news.
All I know is watching the squaking heads make up fabricated insanity about Clooney sounds like a hilarious watch. This coming from someone who's never watched any more of fox news than the little bytes they play on the daily show, or John Olivers show. Just clips used for context of their own show.
- Alright, I'll bite. You mentioned it previously, what's your "personal" beef with George Clooney? Are you David O Russell or something?

Given this reaction, he seems to be doing something which is working.

He is. He's married to Amal.

Maybe it's been all the terrible news lately, but every now and then nonsense news like this just brings a smile to my face

That isn't George clooney.. That is Jurge Clooners

You mean the Golden Snowflake Award-winning actor, who portrayed the titular character in The Nazi Who Played Yahtzee?

Big talk coming from a mediocre country.

russia didn't declare war on amal because amal would destroy them.

Russia is actually just a Monty Python sketch now. And not one of the good ones everyone knows. Like a 6/10 Monty Python sketch.

One where a bunch of Gumbys are just improvising.

my heart goes out to George Clooney for accidentally falling out of a window tomorrow ♥️

There's defense, and there's defenestration.

This would explain the other article I saw about a US-Clooney $20 billion arms deal.

No, actually. Totally unrelated if you can believe that. /j

Said the way only a Daper Dan man can!

Time to rewatch O Brother, Where Art Thou

Oh, just Clooney? If it was the Baldwins then there would be HELL to pay!

They should just ask canada what happened to them when they bombed the baldwins.

Honestly, I really enjoyed Solaris.

The Tarkovsky one is a great movie too. One of my favourite films ever. No George Clooney though, just Russians.
- I need to see it. I enjoyed the book as well, while we're at it. Really really good.