Dislike it properly

I can think of about four-twenty-ten-seven reasons not to learn French.

Four-twenty-seventeen
- seventeen is said as ten-seven in French.
  Belgium's got it, though: soixante, septante, huitante, nonante, cent

From experience the french do the same with english

That's the joke.png
- Oh i guess i got whoosed. I thought it was a just the usual beef with french.
- Que dis-tu ? Je ne parle pas anglais
That's the joke
I'm fine with that. French has done enough damage to English.

Not all Germany is like that. I was in Freiburg last winter and the can't/don't want to speak English. Only the most tourist places would speak English, I guess.
Norway might not be accurately described in this map. While walking through the airport, every airport worker kept trying to speak to me in Norwegian. I don’t know any words in their language. It would be cool if I did, but I don’t. Anyway, they always looked confused, repeated themselves more slowly, and waited for a response from me. Eventually, I realized one of them was asking me about my backpack.
- Also I feel like the French really appreciate it if you try. Or at least hate you a little less. In my experience, after showing off my best (still bad) bonjours and mercis all of the people I talked to turned a lot friendlier and were even willing to speak a little English.
This doesn't reflect my housemate's experience in Italy at all. Evidently if they detect an American accent in your "buongiorno" they'll just spend the rest of the day mocking you in Italian and occasionally just yelling "DONALD TRUMP HAMBURGER TRANSGENDER" at you.

"Je ne parle pas français" There you go, everything you need.

I can say "I don't speak [language], sorry." in about 10 languages, just so if someone tries to speak to me I can say that to them.
So far only one person has said any follow up things in that language. I like to think it was "but you're speaking it now!" but probably just about work stuff.
Is it weird that I get a very tiny kick out of the slight confusion I can see on some people's faces?
- Nope, i also get that kick out of it haha. Love it.
  Though, i must say that my french is really terrible so i might as wel just not speak it
IIRC if you cannot do it because you never learned it it's "Je ne sais pas parler français"
- "I do not speak French" versus "I do not know how to speak French". Both are correct, though only the latter clarifies not speaking the language because they do not understand it, rather than purely out of spite. So in this specific case, the former could be used as a subtle FU.

"Pardon my French"

Absolutely not

Is that you, Werner Herzog?

Herzog was handsome in his youth but this fella looks nothing like him.
- It’s a reference to this:
  https://youtu.be/6pY-0JfEdLY?feature=shared

This is what one of Edmond Dantes alter egos did in the Count of Monte Cristo. “Lord Wilmore” was an eccentric Englishman who understood French perfectly well, but refused to speak it:

… Lord Wilmore appeared….His first remark on entering was, "You know, sir, I do not speak French?"

"I know you do not like to converse in our language," replied the envoy.

"But you may use it," replied Lord Wilmore; "I understand it."

Imagine if French people learned English and chose to speak it online/in-game instead of assuming everyone speaks French as if it is still the lingua franca.

J'ai dû apprendre le français à l'école. L'alternative aurait été le latin. Je déteste tellement cette langue.

You can keep all mistakes I made in that sorry excuse of a garbage language.

Tu détestes le français spécifiquement, ou juste le fait d'avoir eu à apprendre une autre langue?
Le français, je peux comprendre un peu, il y a quant même plusieurs spécificités étranges à cette langue. Ce n'est pas pour rien qu'on passe plusieurs années à l'apprendre avant d'éventuellement passer à la littérature. Je crois que les cours d'anglais langue première font cette transition beaucoup plus tôt.
Détester le fait d'avoir eu à apprendre une autre langue, là je ne comprends pas du tout!
- Pour les spécificités étrange avez vous un example?
- Tu détestes le français spécifiquement, ou juste le fait d'avoir eu à apprendre une autre langue?
  Я ненавижу французский конкретно. Я сожалею, что так и не выучил итальянский должным образом.
  Le français, je peux comprendre un peu, il y a quant même plusieurs spécificités étranges à cette langue.
  That accoustic dumpster fire shouldn't even be referred to as a language.
  Détester le fait d'avoir eu à apprendre une autre langue, là je ne comprends pas du tout!
  Außer mangelnder Zeit habe ich kein Problem damit neue Sprachen zu lernen.
Ironiquement, tu n'as pas fait de fautes, tu as même pensé à l'accent circonflexe à « dû ».
- I always had better grades in French than in English. Which bothered me, because I hated French almost from the start and thought English was/is much more important.
Ok I'm biased but Latin and Greek are so much worse (yes I've been there).
- Friend of mine went to a school which fashioned itself as "the old school" (as in historically old school). They learned latin and old greek instead of anything useful. He was furious when he came back from vacation in Greece and he only found one person, an old professor in Greek history, who he could talk to.
- Yeah but Latin's pretty much a dead language, and the Greeks never spread their "disease" of a language on the scale that the French did
Je suis dans ça mème et je ne l'aime pas.
Oui, j'ai appris la langue française à l'école aussi.
Non, je ne veux... sais pas parler français!
- Non, je ne veux... sais pas parler français!
  Ну, тогда не надо. Есть много лучших языков.
Joke's on you, there is no mistake in your comment.

Hey, an Anglo-Québecois!

Va swinger la bacaisse dans l'fond d'la boite à boîs

Je ne parlé français, même que je comprend un peut le français.

(Almost nothing, I just took one class lol).

Que bacán huevon
- I feared someone answering me in French and I'll be like "yeah I understand 40% of what you're saying"... never expected someone to answer me in my native tongue and slang.
C'est pas mal pour un cours !
- Merci beaucoup!

I mean, this is what you call a power move.

The weird thing about knowing a foreign language is sometimes u might offend people for trying to speak their mother tongue when they're working on their English, so like unless you are in a country where that's the spoken language, it's super awkward any time you want to actually use that language that you learned.

This may be the most Canadian meme ever made, even if unintentionally.

Very few of us know any of it, the further west you go the less you’ll find it
But we do view Quebec as better than Ontario
And French people as better than Americans

If a French-speaking person gives you shit for pronouncing words in French wrong, dare them to say "LinkedIn" in the presence of your English-speaking fluency and try to not humiliate themselves. Maybe first bait then with one they can do, like "Facebook" before crushing their spirits.

Like we could get mean with "squirrel" or "thorough" or "hedgehog", but those are less reasonable that they'd have fucking consistent practice with.

Ha ha ask a yank to pronounce "squirrel" or "mirror" you'll get sqwrrrrrrl and meeeeer
Worcestershire
- Proof that Americans aren't fluent.
I just have them speak my name. Lived in France for 12 years now and not 1 has got it right.
- I have a Scottish name that starts with "Mc"
  Every bank and government institution in France separates the "Mc" from the second part, resulting in lost records, odd looking bank cards, fucked up tax returns etc etc
  Wouldn't change it for the world 😂
I need to know how they would pronounce it. I took French so long ago, and for such a short time, I barely remember any of it.
- Leen koo din.
  For some reason 3 syllables and for some reason a very rounded "ooh" that is absolutely nowhere to be found in its spelling.
- Most Québécois would pronounce it just like Anglophones. I don't see how that's a trick question.
Schedule would be a great word
- If a French person wants to say "LinkedIn" is its own unique french word, then they can all STFU at any pronunciation of croissant they deem unworthy.
  CrussAunt. Fight me.
  LinkedIn is an English word. Pronounce it correctly, or we revoke your "tell anyone how to pronounce anything" card.

Parle vu English....

z

I actually did this

Croissant, baguette du fromage, rien rien.

I did that to Russian language.

Ça me va. On fait comme ça 👍