How it feels to be alive lately

There are literally lawn chairs in Hyde Park in London and if you sit in a dude rocks up and informs you that it costs like $2 per half hour to sit in it.

Can't wait for roaming fees on my oxygen subscription plan.
Oh. That sounds like fun. Going round collapsing all the unoccupied chairs, that is.
It used to be like that when I was a wee child in the Paris parks. They stopped it in the early '70s I think. I seem to remember that the fee was 50 centimes back then for 1/2 hour. I've no idea what the current equivalent would be.
Is that dude a street scammer?
- Nah, they even have a web site apparently: https://www.royalparks.org.uk/visit/parks/hyde-park/park-deck-chairs
Can you bring your own chair?
There's literally food in restaurants in London and if you eat it a dude rocks up and informs you it's like £15 to eat it.
I'm not sure what you expect here. A charitable or government service to provide you with deck chairs for free?
- I'm my local park there are hammocks that the local government puts up each year.
  Benches, hammocks, flowers, swings and a free open air gym is provided as part of the tax we pay to the city
  I know that you are just a rightoid moron but I just want to make clear that having nice parks that people want to spend time in is not a new and weird concept.
- Right? Like someone is going to put a chair or bench in a public space like a park. Ha! Call it a "park bench" or something... and let people sit on it for free?? Ludicrous! It'll never happen! /s
  That'll be £1.00 for reading this response. Please advise where to send the invoice.
- Would you say you are, or are not familiar with the concept of public property?
- Free outdoor seating is extremely common though, it's not that far fetched it could apply to deck chairs too
- This must be the guy who charges for the chairs lol
- 15? That's it! Where is this good deal?
  The only reasonable food while out and about was supermarket meal deals when I went to visit a few years back.

"sure, it seems like a lot but you need the understand the great value you're getting for that $70! Once you agree to a 48 month non-refundable subscription, we will ensure that our representatives do NOT follow you around with flashing lights and sirens and a big sign that says 'did not pay $70'! At that price you can't afford not to subscribe!"

😬 tone it down there, Aldous, that's getting a little too plausible.
- "Your feedback is appreciated! Please create a user profile and provide a valid payment method if you would like someone to actually read it!"

wntd t rspnd prprly bt my vwl sbscrptn xprd. Ds nyn hv $5?

LPT: Yoü can get yoür vowel sübscription with a 80% discoünt using a türkish VPN with absolütely no sideffects.
No, but I do have a few vowels left which I can spare. I think these should be the ones you need: ae o eo oe u oe uiio eie oe aoe ae
Srry, n. Hwvr, hv n bndnc f Y's.
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
- "wyntyd ty ryspynd prypyrly byt my vywl sybscryptyyn yxpyryd. Dyys ynyyny hyvy $5?"