Plato

"Hey Socrates, do you want to hear what one of your students just told me?"
"Wait a second, let's use my triple filter: first, is that what you heard true?"
"Well, it's more of a rumour"
"Second: is that something good?"
"Definitely not"
"Third: is that useful?"
"Not necessarily"
"So, if it's not true, good and useful then why even mention it?" Socrates goes away

Al this explains why Socrates was respected as a great philosopher. And why he never knew Plato was fucking his wife.

Socrates: "Well, I'm just glad she didn't cheat in me with some stranger."
Dude: "Plato also slept with your underaged twink boy-toy."
S: "THAT FUCKER!!"
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xanthippe
She was likely much younger than Socrates, perhaps by as much as 40 years
Plato's portrayal of Xanthippe in the Phaedo suggests that she was a devoted wife and mother; this is the sole mention of her in Plato's works.
Verdict: probably wasn't banging her.
- Idk, Plato himself was probably 40-something years younger than Socrates so he would be similar age or slightly younger than Xanthippe, and i bet he wouldn't brag in his works about banging his teacher's wife.
  I mean i agree he probably wasn't doing it, but there no proof for either.

I'm looking for a fulfilling Gregonic relationship.

probably just Aristophanes causing trouble again …

platonic relationships can still involve sex

In the way most people use the term today I'd say they mean a non-sexual relationship. However, if we go back to Symposium I'd say that non-sexualness is not enough to warrant a relationship being called platonic. Plato argues that the love for truth is the highest love, and people united in this love for truth is then a platonic relationship. We could argue now that platonic relationships are about unification in love for truth, not about food or sleep or sex for example. But presumably Plato ate food when he was hungry and slept when he was tired, so in the same way there is in his argument nothing that rules out sex. Much later, Tina Turner sang "What's love got to do with it?" and thus contributed to a 2300 year old debate on love and Eros.
- If anyone is interested, I already commented on Plato's position on sex in his dialogues in https://slrpnk.net/comment/4266874
  But in short, the Symposium creates a complex web of how everything ties in, but the point made was that love is a messanger between humans and the gods, it draws people towards the form of the beautiful, and in his steps towards the Beautiful, the love of bodies is the first and lowest step, which when overcome by the next (love of the soul) is seen as nothing in comparisson. Socrates himself, presented as the ideal philosopher and lover, refuses Alcibiades' sexual advances.
  But the most explicit statement against sexual relationships is given in 'Phaedrus', where beauty and love for people reminds the soul of the form of Beauty, but the shameless part of the soul pulls the body towards sexual relations, to "mount them like an animal", but the reasonable part of the soul, upon being reminded of Beauty, pulls back and subdues the shameless part.
  Plato is against most physical things on a good day, but when it comes to love, sexual relations are out of the question because they miss the mark (knowledge of the forms) by a mile.
My brother in christ, no, it means not sex due to how languages work. What most people think it means, that's what it means.

For some reason I'm laughing so hard imagining this comic without Plato's speech bubble in the last panel

This only proves that the ideal relationship is one without the compilations of sex. Checkmate natalists.

A platonically ideal kid is obviously a 3D printed clone. Same DNA, so optimal parenting.
“Now here’s how you ask Sally Henderson out …”
“Who’s Sally Henderson?”
“Focus kid! You only get one shot at this!”
“Dad this isn’t time travel. I’m a clone but it’s not like the …”
“You will live my ideal life!”