Forbidden snack of childhood

Those are like 90% of the microplastics in my body

My mother told me a story one time, about one of her younger cousins and his epic interaction with a bunch of cheap flip-flops/sandals.

He was somewhere between the age when his incisors had grown in, but not yet old enough to speak...or, well, to not be immensely fucking stupid. A bunch of people in the extended family were visiting his family's house, and they had all left their flip-flops in the front room. These were the oldschool foam-rubber type of flip-flop sandals. The ones that were just a brightly-colored, entirely flat foam-rubber, foot-shaped sole, and a little plastic piece to hold it onto your foot. Everyone in the family apparently had a different color of shoes.

When everyone was preparing to leave the house, they found that EVERY PAIR OF SHOES had a toddler's-mouth-sized bite taken out of it. Just one per pair. This little shit had tried every "flavor" of shoe, and apparently didn't figure out they were all rubber-and-foot flavored until he'd tried all of them.

If I remember correctly, he had sampled at least eight or ten people's shoes.

That is both the dumbest and the funniest thing I've read all day
- I know, right? I hadn't thought about that story in so many years, but it popped right back into my brain, the instant I saw this meme.
That's just called priming your immune system
- Antibodies: "Got another flip flop. My guy oops ain't getting footwear-itis today"

I have a sense memory of the mouth feel of these things but not like a memory memory. I think they're firm and granular-y... and mostly tasteless

That’s the exact memory I have as well. Grainy.
- We've all tasted this ball before

A social worker I know actually lost one of his clients because of a rubber ball (are they called flip flop balls in English?), the 8 year old choked to death

I would call these things "bouncy balls".
That's a terrible story. But lol I like the term flip flop ball. Around me, we actually call them bouncy balls
- fuckin love a bouncy ball tho
- The worst part is that he was around his parents, they just didn't know what number to dial to call the emergency.
  Now that you've said it bouncy ball does sound familiar 😅
And some weirdos argue that parents are less reliable than strangers.
Parents are in general the best guardians for their child.
"CITATION NEEDED" - Satan, maybe

I was not a smart child, and them balls were like culinary forbidden fruit.

You are confusing them with these:

https://www.amazon.de/Fazer-Gröna-Kulor-Green-Jellies/dp/B006KZ3LSW

I was among the children who sunk my teeth into one of these and I remember the results: my curiosity was satisfied regarding the:

texture - penetrable & interesting & oddly satisfying
taste - 0/10 don't recommend; would not repeat.

YES! I chewed on so many of these, especially late at night. If you haven't had them already, get SunKist's Fruit Gems candy. It's not quite the same but it scratches that same mental itch for me.

So many chomps. So many very, very unpleasant chomps.

Did anyone else chew on those clear glue globs in packaging that kinda look like this?

I did! Wow I was an idiot when I was young. Yeesh. At least I wasn't like the many kids I knew that ate bugs 🤢
- They were so chewable, though!
  And I've done all my bug as an adult. Haha. Never did it as a kid, but since growing up, I've eaten crickets, grubs, ants and cockroaches.
- Nothing wrong with eating bugs! Though I do suggest you prepare them properly, first.

I never, eh... ate these (wtf?), but damn they were fun to hit with a baseball bat or golf club, and imagine where on the planet they landed.