I don't understand. Where are the Bionicles?

On the floor behind the photographer

Why the useless 2nd table?

Seems fishy...

That's the dining room
- Now we're getting fancy, money bags
- Eat on the floor
Dude, where else would you keep the fleshlight/lotion and wetwipes?
- Fancy are we?
  What happend to the good old hand, spit and sock?!
Laptop, printer, microwavable meals, future expanded PC setup ... Back when I had corner desks, that's usually how I used the second side.
- Printer? Might as well put a brick with a beeping function and a sign that says "oUt Of YeLlOw InK, cAnT pRiNt B&w"
And it gets in the way of proper VR space.

Fuck i need a table

Those words can be arranged in different positions to get a different meaning.
Just lay on your stomach and work your back muscles, bro!
- But my head is so heavy!
- Are you my exes?

"If a man could fuck a woman in a cardboard box, he wouldn't buy a house" - Dave Chappelle

men who rely on women being so nonfree that they have to agree to this must be so unlikeable it's crazy
- How is that non free?

I wouldn't mind a toilet

Look at Rockefeller thinking he needs his our toilet.
Mine is down the hall and I share it with 23 other people and that's the way it should be!
that's what the window is for. ... or the roof, i don't see a window.

I tried living like this, but I couldn't. A couple more things I need:

sheets: both a fitted sheet for the matress and a second loose sheet on top
some kind of blanket or comforter on top of the sheets
two pillows, one "soft" and one "firm".

That being said... tables? A chair? Who are you, the King of France? In fact you don't even need the matress, just get a futon that you can fold up for more space and use a laptop on top of that, like I'm doing right now.

I slept on a futon for six months. My back hated me for it.
Yup. First thing I noticed, too. Where's my blankets? And by blankets I mean cheap unzipped sleeping bag I've been using as a blanket for years.

No bedframe, no nightstand, only one monitor and it's tiny as hell

This looks like a prison, get me out

When you don't have a bed frame, the whole floor is your night stand!
A prison cell with walls and a carpeted floor, your own bathroom, and a door you control so you get to go anywhere you want.
- What bathroom and door? What you see is what you get.
  Peak hikikomori minimalist living space, who needs hygiene and outside anyway.
Even worse, no chamber pot.
Are you saying I could be gaming, reading, posting all day and hooking up in the showers at night, all for free?
- Even the sex is included.

Matress needs to be off the floor to prevent moisture from being trapped between the mattress and ground causing mildew/mold. More of an issue in humid places, but still - prop that bad boy up on some bricks or something idk

Cargo pallets are about the right size, and are free, if you ask, at Lowes/ Home Depot/ other Hardware stores.
- Ever since pallet furniture became trendy they're hard to come by
Those are adult concerns and have no place in this childish utopia.
Bonus storage space! Physical notification every time you roll off! More space for the monsters! Easier to keep bed bugs at bay! More options for the Waifullow 2600XX!
milk crates! get em from the grocery store, around back.

I feel personally attacked

You just keep living your best life
Leave some of them happiness for the rest of us
- The happiness shark is available at Ikea :)

It's the back pain. That mattress won't do at in my 30s. No sir.
- Nevermind being that close to the ground and fighting gravity to get in and out of bed, nope.
- You gotta take care of yourself! I backpack at l least a month of nights a year, thin pad. Lots of manual labor in my past. Gotta stay flexible
Nah, when I was younger, I would've still wanted some books.

NGL when I finally got an apartment that's basically what my place looked like for months

Only difference was there was also a cat tree for my cat

His tree was the second piece of furniture I bought

Idk...my back started hurting just looking at that chair but maybe that's just me.

Same and my neck and shoulders from looking at that pillow.
ikr fuck

I'm sorry but this is missing dog.

bro how extra do you gotta be
- This much:
  Bark. Bark.

You are missing one toilet paper roll

Yeah I don't see any curtains

Needs at least two more monitors and one more soldering iron

And a better chair. My back will die with that chair

Far from complete. A fridge with beer and junkfood is missing. Also a toilet and tissues.

there's carpet
- Well observed

Throw in a better chair and a mini fridge and I'm sold.

Table on the side?!?

Man don't need no extra table.

Yes, that's where my whisky goes dammit.

I need books. Lots and lots of books to be somewhat happy..

What about EBooks? You can read Ebooks on your PC. Actually, that's how I typically do read books lately so I can read the books in dark mode.
- I like physical books more than ebooks.

Sorry, but I want a chair with a backrest. But other than that, no notes

(I'm going with the vibe of the joke. There's a lot more that I consider table stakes irl, don't bother me.)

I had this lovely vintage Steelcase short back chair in my industrial themed home office for a while. Then the pandemic hit and working from home started. It didn't take me a month to get some bad back and leg pain. Now, I have a Steelcase Leap V2 at home and a Herman Miller Aeron in the office. A good chair is so important when you spend a third of your day in it.

I think if they put computers and carpet in prison cells, they might not want to leave.

And just where am I expected to put my collection of American Girl dolls?

That table is bloat

The OS is bloat as well

Nah, gotta have an e-reader or tablet in there. You can't relax and read with a desktop or laptop.

A SECOND table? Feeling fancy aren't we?

Needs a better chair and more ergonomics around the desk. Otherwise you'll be happy momentarily, but after a few months your back and other body parts will be quite unhappy with you.

Pretty close, NGL...

Meh needs more monitors and a better chair but it's close.

Speak for yourself.

Put this setup in the corner of a 4 car garage with a hoist and I'm sold.

Hoist? For the sails?

Where do I poop?

In the corner, but it's not polite to show that on camera.

The lack of a slatted frame under that matress makes me uncomfortable.

Username did not check out
- Ambitious Bones, not ambitious mold spots on the floor

As a tall man I would greatly appreciate a bed frame so as to not have to fight the bed springs to stand up.

There is a subreddit for this. Cant remember the name.

Just photos of guys rooms, with a few sacks of the floor and a laptop

Any one remember what it is. ?

I think it's r/malelivingspace . And I believe this picture in particular actually made it on @fter Midnight.
- That’s the one !
What sort of floor comes in a sack?
- Bag tiles

Some sort of duvet-less motherfucker

tyler durden would approve

I sleep on the floor and it's great.

Where girl?

No need, but the photo is missing a cheap VR headset and a box of tissues.
- And a body-length pillow to cuddle with

Lmao that is pretty much my life

Where’s the beer?

It's just missing one essential piece.

Snacks.

At least there's somewhere to sit, but nowhere for guests to sit. According to Josh Johnson, this is below the bare minimum for meeting a girl. Best of luck, OP.

For some of us, a girl was never an option 😎

Lol I'm actually thinking about how to design a long and narrow bicycle camper with a bed, a foldable reclining armchair top that goes on the bed during the day, a split ergo keyboard on the armrests, and a monitor that can be easily pushed out of the way. This could fit into a space about 3m long and 1m wide.

The roof / top half of the camper could be moved up or down for transport aerodynamics. Kinda like a "vanlife" mobile battlestation. But I'd also want a mini kitchen and a burner and a place to shower and poop. Lightweight similar to teardrop campers but where the roof is flat so the top part can fit over the bottom half. And with lightweight solar panels ofc. And with windows all around that can be stoppered with lightweight XPS panels in cold weather.

i definitely would not be happy in that chair. and 1 monitor. might as well be using a laptop out in the fucking wind.

Been there done that.

This is like the modern day GTA 3 apartment.

I wouldn't be happy with that PC sitting on the carpeted floor when you have a perfectly good table to the right.

Guys only want one thing and it's fucking disgusting

When I was a bachelor in my college days, I didn't have much more than this.

Easily the focal point of my living space was my computer console, which got a little crazy. I had a simple table for a desk, and on it was a surround sound system for my PC (a big JVC one... Speakers strewn around the room), keyboard, mouse, PC, some knick knacks.... I had put together some wooden boards to build a stand over my JVC amp so my monitor could sit on top of it, a huge 25(?) Inch CRT... My computer tower was to the right... Directly to the right of my seat I had my printer (I was in college after all. It was a generic inkjet), and a mini fridge. In the corner, between the printer and computer, I had a small pile of equipment to give me some extra functionality, like an old desktop that I remoted into, so I could have stuff running that I didn't need to use up resources on my main computer for... A network switch was over there too... Etc.

To my left was my storage area, a small shelf and a dresser next to it. Behind the desk area was basically a bed with a night stand for my alarm clock, and a hanger area because I didn't have a closet. I don't have any pictures from that era, as this was before smartphones had decent cameras and storage.

That space was my life back then. I still remember every detail, from the knick knacks on my desk to the sound the fridge made when it opened.

I don't need to cram my entire life into one room anymore, so I'm a bit more spread out, but my computer station hasn't changed a lot. I switched almost entirely to headphones, so goodbye JVC, and everything has been changed or upgraded, but a lot of the same elements are here. I relocated my PC to under my table (it has it's own smaller table under my big table), and I have more monitors now, which are thankfully not CRTs. My bed and storage stuff moved to another room, but the layout and principles of my original design and layout of my desk is still very apparent.

I might have one picture I can scrounge up that I took of it when I had moved into my parents place between semesters, all laid out the same. I have no idea where that picture might be though. It was awesome for a mid 2000's battle station, and I had basically no frills about my life at that time. Everything I owned had a purpose. As long as it served that purpose, there was no need to change it. I loved it just as it was.

also specifically skyfactory 4.

Yo I fucking love skyfactory

Only 1 monitor, not using Gnome

I don’t think I could be happy with that

Where's the second monitor though?

a few consoles and a gaming phone too

Gaming phone..?
- yeah like the asus rog ally

I can fit an n scale layout on that table, yes yes

Is that a wipe-clean mattress?

I think it's just a pretty clean and well fitting fitted sheet.

Eh, not really. I'd take a better chair and a cabinet over that additional table. Also, just one monitor? What peasantry!

I have that same desk, but with glass on top of it.

Needs a fridge, cell phone, and a 3-foot blonde with a flat head.

I keep seeing ads for those big beds with the built in couch/desk/fridge/bookshelf/recliner & I don't think my productivity could handle me having one of those in my life.

I'm more of a Stoneblock 2 guy myself but Skyfactory will do.

Truth x Facts

Fellas, if you live like this... This is why you are single. Not your looks, not even your personality. It's this. Furnish your room properly.

gendernormative post is gendernormative

Funny how when you see someone use a word like "gendernormative" you can tell they got their entire personality from the internet, and they're going to die lonely
- ever heard of books?