Dad Jokes !dadjokes@lemmy.world

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I bought a pet termite. I named it Clint.

Until I got a pair, I always thought orthopaedic shoes were nonsense.

Did you hear about the square that got in a car accident?

I borrowed a bunch of tables from friends for a garage sale last weekend, and gave them back yesterday.

What do you call a psychic little person who breaks out of prison?

I think it goes without saying

What did the lettuce say to the celery?

On my way to work this morning a tractor nearly crashed into me. The driver was shouting about the end of the world being nigh...

I got a new pair of shoes from my recreational pharmaceutical direct sales outlet.

Why does a moon rock taste better than an earth rock?

What do you give a sick lemon?

Why is money called dough?

I stopped telling "Yo Mama" jokes because they were déclassé.

Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Where do saplings go to learn?

What do you call a belt made of wristwatches?

Thought of this community when we revisited the park (hope it gets attached this time and not potato quality)

Thought of this community when we revisited the park

Why do neutron stars perform so poorly in school?

That French chef freaks me out...